Goodye, Hello
by writingmom
Summary: Mixed timeline. Harm and Mac endure trials and tribulations as they fight for the chance to make their relationship work. EPILOGUE ADDED!
1. Leaving

A/N: This is my own mixed timeline from a few different episodes. Set later in the show but without Paraguay. Please just use your imagination and try to follow along! Also, Mac is not an alcoholic. Don't ask me why, but there needs to be champagne and less of a troubled past for this woman. (I can hear the criticism now.) Oh well. I'm going with it. It's fluff, anyway!

Mac knocked on the door of Harm's apartment before she lost her will. They had drifted apart lately. They used to make time to have lunch together or pizza on Friday nights, but they had shared few cases lately. Now, she had the opportunity to go TAD on the Watertown. She needed some advice in deciding. Not so much on a personal level, but on a professional one. Harm would be able to help her sort through the pros and cons of going back to the place that held a bad memory.

Feeling brave, she knocked again. When the door swung open, she was surprised to see Alicia Montes standing in front of her, holding the door open as if she owned the place. Jealousy and hurt merged together and formed a huge knot in her stomach. 

"Sarah, hello." Alicia said.

"Uh, hi. I'm sorry, I didn't realize that Harm had company."

"No, it's not a problem. Come in." Again, acting like she lived there.

"No, really, it's o.k." Mac forced herself to smile and began to walk away when Harm noticed her.

"Mac, hey, what's up?" 

"Nothing, really. I'm sorry to bother you. I'll uh, just talk to you later." She was even more hurt when he didn't object.

"Well, o.k. See you later." 

The tears that stung her eyes were surprising to her. She didn't know what she expected, but it certainly wasn't this. She had learned from the experience with Renee not to turn around and look up to his window. She was afraid of seeing Harm in another embrace. Instead, she willed herself to keep walking until she reached her car. Then, she left the parking lot as fast as she could. At least now she had her answer about leaving.

As she packed her bags and gathered her personal belongings, she was again surprised at the flow of tears coming from her eyes. She felt like a girl in Junior High who hadn't been asked to the dance. She was being silly, she knew, but she was tired of playing games with Harm. She wanted to see if they could move forward, but the sight of Alicia in his apartment answered that.

She stepped in to her bathtub and the awaiting hot water and bubbles. Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes and willed herself not to cry anymore. If Harm had decided to move on, then that was his right. She had certainly done her fair share of pushing him away in the past. Still, the sight of him in a new relationship was not one that she felt strong enough to take anymore. 

She had reached out to him in Sydney, and his vague response then should have been enough. For some reason, she kept a glimmer of hope in the back of her mind that someday, they could work things out.

She awoke bright and early the next day. This was a new beginning, in a way. She knew that her assignment on board would last a minimum of three weeks, and while she wasn't thrilled about being stuck on board a submarine for that long, she decided to make the most of her time away.

She took one last look around her apartment before turning off the lights and locking the door behind her.

LATER THAT DAY 

Harm walked by her office several times and wondered why her light was off. "Harriet, when is the Colonel due in?" He cheerfully asked as he looked through his phone messages.

"In about three weeks, sir. At the earliest." Harriet knew that Mac had wanted to talk to Harm before leaving, but it was obvious that she hadn't gotten the chance. Harriet winced, awaiting Harm's reaction. 

"Three weeks? Where the hell is she?" He asked, surprised.

"The Watertown, sir." Was all that Harriet could say.

"The Watertown? What the hell for?" He asked, confused.

"She's TAD, sir. I thought that she would have told you." Harriet was no stranger to their antics, and she could definitely play along when necessary.

"Tell me, when? She had all day yesterday and –" Suddenly he realized that she had wanted to talk last night at his apartment. A feeling of dread washed over him as he muttered "Thanks," To Harriet and headed to his office. He leaned back in his chair and put it all together. Mac had needed to talk to him, and he had blown her off. He knew that she probably had reservations about going back to the Watertown, and there he was making dinner with another woman.

"Great." He said aloud. "Another step backwards." 

He turned on his computer and looked for an email. It was too early, he knew it, but it was his only hope of getting in touch with his partner. Instead, he opened a new email of his own, and began typing. It was later that evening when Mac returned to her quarters to see the message waiting for her.

"Mac, wish you would have told me you were leaving. Are you sure this is a good idea? H"

She considered her reply and even typed several different responses before deciding on this one.

"Harm, I had every intention of telling you. Guess there wasn't a good time. I'm sure that it will be fine. M"

She didn't want to make a snide comment about his personal life and she didn't want to get in to an argument. This would keep it short and sweet and hopefully wouldn't burn any bridges.

Harm was eager to look for a message the next day, but was disappointed that she hadn't said more. Feeling courageous, he found himself typing a new message.

"Mac, How's it going? Things are slow around here. When do you think you'll be back? Bet you're in Beltway Burger withdrawal. Be safe. H"

It was light and had no real point, but he wanted to keep the conversation going. He knew that she was probably running and that she probably had jumped to the wrong conclusion about Alicia, but he didn't want to delve in to all of that just yet. He wanted them to talk, just like old times. Even if it was through email.

She didn't respond for the next two days. Finally, when he saw her name appear on his screen, he excitedly double-clicked and found that this time, she had more to say.

"Harm, I'm doing well. I'm sure that you're enjoying the quiet. Submarine life is not as bad this time. No mysterious illnesses and so far no temporary blindness. In fact, this crew is very friendly and accommodating. Take care. M"

Something about the way that she described the crew made him feel uneasy. Another four days with no message in his inbox was bothering him as well. They weren't a couple. They weren't even officially working toward being one, but like her, he had always assumed that they would get to that point, sooner rather than later. Now he was afraid of the repercussions of having Alicia over for dinner. She had basically invited herself, and Harm was tired of being alone. She was no Mac, but he had to admit that it was nice to have a conversation with another adult outside of work.

His worry grew and he decided to take a bold approach in his next email. He was enjoying the confidence of being able to say things to Mac that he likely would not to her face.

"Mac, would you tell me if something were bothering you? I mean, if you thought that I had done something to upset you? I hope that you would. We're still friends, right? Talk to me. H"

He hit the "send" button pleased with his last email. What he didn't expect, however, was Mac's interpretation of it. 

"Harm, Your life is your own. Friends, always. But friends can't share everything, I guess. M"

It was late this time, so their responses were coming and going to one another with immediate replies.

"Mac, what are you talking about? Of course we can share everything. Explain. H"

"I used to think that we could too. But there was bound to be a time when there were others that would want to take that place. It's o.k. In fact, it's natural. M"

What was she talking about? Him and Alicia or her? This time, he didn't bother mincing words.

"Mac, you're scaring me. How can you be gone for three weeks, not tell me and then act like our separation has no effect on our friendship?"

"First of all, I tried to tell you. Second of all, that's not what I meant. Third, I'm tired and I don't want to argue. I will always consider you a friend, Harm. Just take it as it is. I want you to be happy. Don't act so surprised. M"

"O.k., this is about Alicia, isn't it? Mac, there's nothing between us, really. You have to believe me. H"

"Harm, whether there is something between you and Alicia or you and whoever, is none of my business. Why are we talking about this again? M"

"I would hope that it's your business! I thought that friends shared everything. H"

"Some friends can't. Goodnight, Harm. M"

With that, she was signed off. He knew that she wasn't being snide or rude. In fact, he might have felt better if she were. Something had happened, something had changed, and he couldn't tell what, but at least she was talking to him. He was going to keep the conversation alive if it meant flooding her inbox with emails.

The next day, she found another message. "Mac, this is bugging me. Where do we stand? H"

"Do you really want to have this discussion over email? What do you mean, 'where do we stand'? We're friends, Harm. We always have been. What is it that you want me to say? M"

"I don't know! I guess I just thought…just hoped that maybe we could move beyond that someday. Was I the only one that felt this way? H"

Mac let out a long sigh before typing her final response for the week. "Harm, I guess it's no coincidence that you're bringing this up when I'm hundreds of miles below sea level and you don't have to look me in the eye. It's o.k., really. I'm not going anywhere, so whatever it is that's making you nervous, I hope it stops. I'm here when you need me and I wish you happiness always. Please, just leave it at that. Love, Mac."

Now this was ticking him off! She was talking all cryptic, he thought. Had she found someone else on board that Watertown? Now his imagination was running wild, along with the fact that she didn't email again for days. 

As he walked in to the bullpen, Harriet could see the bags under his eyes. "Long night, Commander?" 

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." He offered a polite smile and headed to his office and closed the door as he had done for the last several days.

Much to his delight, he turned on his computer and found a message from Mac. "See you soon." Was the title, and he couldn't help but smile when he read it.

"Hey Flyboy. Guess my time in this under water capsule is about over. See you soon. M"

It was brief and to the point, but he was thankful that she had let him know. Today was Wednesday, so he hoped that she would be in the office Thursday or Friday at the latest.

When he didn't see her either day, he asked Harriet for information. "Sir, I don't know when she was to land." 

Dejected, he began to walk away. "Um, Commander, see you at the Governor's Ball tonight?" She tried to change the subject.

"Yeah, I guess."

He had thought about asking Alicia to go with him, but a warm body beside him at these boring events was not what he was looking for. Last year he and Mac had gone together and had a wonderful time. They danced, and exchanged knowing glances when the speeches ran over. It wouldn't be the same without her. 

He straightened the tie on his tux while across town, Sarah Mackenzie added the finishing touches to her make up. She knew that there was a chance that Harm and Alicia would be there together, but she was feeling stronger now and felt like she would be o.k. no matter what. He had said that there was nothing between them, but he had said things like this before. Tonight, she was going to celebrate being on dry land with fresh air to breathe. She would catch up with Harriet and Bud, and maybe even dance with the Admiral again.

She took one last look at herself in the mirror before heading out the door. 

"Maam! It's so good to see you!" Harriet squealed from their table. 

Mac gave her a quick hug before they began the barrage of compliments on one another's outfits. "You look gorgeous!" 

"So do you! And I love those earrings!"

"Thanks, and that necklace is perfect!" They laughed. 

"So, where are we sitting?" Mac asked, taking a deep breath and bracing herself for the sight of Harm with a date.

"Over here. Come on, join us."

Mac looked around the table and saw that Harm was not there. She greeted Sturgis and his date, Bud and the Admiral. Two seats to her left were empty. Trying not to get distracted, she enjoyed the conversation and being caught up on all that had happened at work. 

"Colonel, care to join me on the dance floor?" The Admiral asked, offering his hand.

"I'd love to." 

She enjoyed dancing with the Admiral. It was one of the few instances that he let his guard down. They moved about the floor gracefully and laughed at the others who were clearly not enjoying themselves as much.

When the song was over, the Admiral decided that a drink would be in order. "Can I get you anything?"

"No thanks, I think I'm just going to get some fresh air." 

As she walked out on to the terrace, she saw a familiar figure leaning against the railing.

"Harm?"

He turned, surprised to hear her voice. 

"Mac. I didn't know you were here." He swallowed hard as he looked her up and down. "You look…amazing."

"Thank you." She said, stepping over to hug him. She wore a champagne colored silk dress that was floor length and elegant and hugged every curve of her body. He hair was pulled up in a bunch of loose curls that accented her brown eyes. He had never seen her look as beautiful as she did tonight.

The hug lasted a little longer than normal, and he didn't care. Once they broke apart, she spoke first.

"How long have you been out here?" 

"Awhile." He smiled. "It's not as fun as it was last year." 

She smiled. "What, no jello mold to keep you busy during the Governor's speech?" They both laughed.

"It's good to see you." He said, his eyes growing darker and the smile disappearing from his face.

"You too." She still smiled, now becoming self-conscious. She reached up and began to play with the clasp on her necklace. "So…it's nice out here." Just as she said this, she began to shiver. 

Harm immediately stood to offer her his jacket. "Here, " he said, placing it gently on her shoulders. He looked stunning in his tuxedo as always. His broad shoulders now visible in the crisp white dress shirt. He hands lingered on her shoulders for a moment as he again stared directly in to her eyes.

"Harm, what is it? You look like you haven't seen me in years."

"Feels like I haven't."

"Is everything o.k.? You seem…different."

"I don't know, Mac. I guess I just missed you." 

Moved by his sentiment, she moved in to hug him again. 

"I missed you too." She had intended for the hug to be a hug from a friend, one that was a greeting or a consolation. Instead, it became a tight embrace that had both of them immediately feeling electricity shoot through their veins.

Harm took a deep breath and inhaled the scent of her neck and hair.

"You're gorgeous." He let it slip without thinking. 

Still wrapped in an embrace, she pulled away slightly to see his face, to see if she could read his expression. Their eyes locked, inches from each other. His eyes were dark and serious. She felt a closeness between them that she wasn't sure she's ever felt before. His eyes said so much. The way that he stared at her intently led her to believe that this moment was more than a moment between friends. Something had changed, quite possibly for the better.

As he gazed in to her dark chocolate eyes, he couldn't help himself any longer. He closed the distance between their mouths and covered hers with his own. Her eyes remained open for a moment, as if to see for herself that this was really happening. Soon, however, her eyelids were closed as she began to experience a kiss like she had never felt, never expected from this man.

His arms wrapped tightly around her, pulling her to him, he kissed her for what seemed to be an eternity, what felt like an eternity. He didn't care who saw them. He had missed her, and she looked edible before him. He explored her mouth freely as he reached out for her to let her know that he was ready, that he had missed her terribly. He was tired of waiting, tired of wondering.

When they finally broke for air, he still held her in his arms. "Wow." She said. "I wasn't expecting that."

"I'm sorry, Mac, if I—I guess I couldn't help myself."

"Don't be sorry." She smiled, still a little bit apprehensive. He could tell that she needed some clarification. One minute she sees another woman in his apartment, the next he is kissing her like he can't live without her.

"Mac, it's not the same when you're gone. I missed you. I mean, I really missed you."

"Harm, it's not like I haven't gone TAD before. I guess I don't understand." She wondered if things had gone sour for some reason with Alicia and if that was why he seemed to have new confidence with her.

"Mac, it's the Watertown. It's what happened there last time. It's us not working together as much. It's me not seeing you in the office when I think you'll be there. It's you not telling me that you're leaving for three weeks—"

"It's you being busy when I tried to tell you that I might be leaving for three weeks." She smirked, again not wanting to argue.

He had never removed his hands from her body. He placed his hands on her arms and began rubbing them slowly up and down, but now he was looking away. She hated it when he did that. He had looked directly in to her soul only moments before.

"I know. I'm sorry. It wasn't what it looked like, but I still should have been there for you." It was a painful reminder to them both of the night that Mic had left. She went to him, like he had asked, only for him to turn her away. Both times he regretted it later.

"Yeah, I uh, I'm starting to get a complex about knocking on your door." She tried to lighten the mood, but he wouldn't have it. He gave her a sharp stare as if she were being irreverent in the discussion, as if she weren't hearing him.

"Mac, stop it." 

They stared at one another again, trying to decipher what the others' eyes were trying to say, what words were not expressing.

"Don't leave me again." He spoke in a quiet voice, almost inaudibly.

Puzzled, she said, "Harm, I can't promise that I'll never go TAD again, and you know that our work takes us out of town all the time…."

"No, I mean, don't ever leave _me_ again." Now he was being cryptic, but he didn't care. The moment that he saw her on the terrace was overpowering. The feeling that he got inside made him feel like a man in love. Crazy in love and tired of running. Tired of the 'what ifs' and the 'what about work'.

She shivered once more, not so much due to the temperature around her, but because of the intensity of his words. Still unable to read him, he decided to let his actions speak once again. He traced her chin lightly with his thumb before leaning in once more for a soft, affirming kiss.

"Can we get out of here, please?" He asked.

At a loss for words, she nodded in agreement. They turned to walk in to the ballroom only to see that most of the crowd was beginning to clear. The dance floor was relatively empty now, but the band began to play another song.

"Mac, wait." He called from behind her. He held out his hand and silently asked for a dance. For the life of her she had no idea what was going on with Harmon Rabb tonight, but she was more than happy to find out.

They kept a respectful distance from one another for the first two seconds, and then he couldn't help it. He pulled her close so that their bodies were molded together. The Admiral was gone, and Bud and Harriet smiled knowingly at each other as they grabbed their coats to leave. 

Mac let the music be their guide. She laid her head on his shoulder which made him go weak in the knees. It was a subtle gesture that proved that she felt safe with him. He pulled her in in response, so close that they were almost unable to move their feet back and forth. His hands moved slowly around her back, telling her again that he was glad to see her, that he needed her. 

When the song ended, she waited for his cue. "Thank you." He said, leading her off of the dance floor. It was as if the dance were a chance to stop the clock, to savor the warmth of her touch before they left.

They had driven separately, which he hated. "Do you want to follow me back to my place?" With any other woman it would have sounded forward. But not to Mac, who had followed him there hundreds of times after countless court sessions, meetings, interviews and social events.

"Sure." She smiled as she began to take his jacket off and hand it to him. The sight of her doing this was another painful reminder. The last time that she handed his jacket back to him they had been on the Admiral's porch. "We're getting too good at saying goodbye," She had said. He immediately closed his eyes, willing the memory to be gone.

"Harm?" She grew concerned as he hesitated to take his jacket.

In one swift motion he had yanked her in to his arms and pressed her against her car, kissing her as if she was going to leave him again, as if the kiss would somehow shut the rest of the world out and would ensure her presence before him.

Confused yet willing, she responded in full, even letting out a soft moan. His mouth still covering hers, he reached up to cup her face with his hands. When he was ready, he ended the kiss. It definitely could not be argued that he wouldn't take control. He had initiated every touch, every kiss tonight, not waiting for the moment, but just diving in.

She dabbed at her now swollen lips, taken completely aback but pleased by this unlikely behavior. "I'll uh, see you back at your place." She said, before dropping down in to her car. He closed the door for her, as if to make sure that she was safe.

The thirty- minute drive felt like it was taking two hours to them both. They were met with every possible red light, slow driver, and construction zone possible. Finally, as they pulled in to his parking lot, Mac gave herself a mental talk before stepping out of the car. "Don't run away this time, Mackenzie. Listen with your heart, but don't read too much in to it." She decided against the mental battle that would likely ensue in her mind, and instead opened the door of her car to see him already tugging at the handle to greet her. Without words, he grabbed her hand and laced his fingers through hers. He led her up to his door with pride, with confidence, with a feeling that this time, she would not be leaving.

Once inside, Harm closed the door behind them and threw his keys on the counter. He only turned on the small lamp on his desk before making his way to the refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of champagne and two glasses from the cabinet.

"Wow, champagne. I'm impressed." Mac offered, still unsure as to what was driving this man's emotions tonight. 

If she could have seen herself, sitting there at his counter with the bubbly concoction in her hand and with the dim light accenting all of her features, she would have known. 

"I've been saving it for your return." He explained.

"My return? Wow. I ought to go TAD more often. I didn't realize—" She was talking too much, and beginning to babble nervously. 

He placed his hand on hers. 

"No, I've been saving it for your return. To me."

In that moment, she knew. She could see by the look in his eyes and the firmness of his hand on hers that he was not kidding around. He never took his eyes off of hers as he walked slowly around the counter to stand in front of her. Taking the glass away and setting it down beside her, he took her hands in his and brought them to his lips. Closing his eyes, he spoke between tiny, soft kisses to each hand. 

"Mac, I'm tired of saying goodbye. I don't like how it feels when you're not around. Please, don't go. Not tonight, not ever." 

Mac's face revealed that he had finally gotten through. Finally, there were no doubts or no questions. Whatever had happened in the last weeks didn't matter. Whatever it was that had finally brought them to this place, didn't matter. They were here now, together.


	2. Interruptions

Harm pulled Mac into yet another embrace and began slowly leading her to his bedroom, never removing his mouth from hers. She was finally letting her guard down. Being guided by her heart, she knew that this man was the only one for her. Forever. Inwardly she couldn't believe that it was finally happening, that the moment had finally arrived.

Harm was a man on a mission. Not just in the physical sense, but emotionally as well. He wanted to prove to her that his heart was hers. Now and always. They were taking their time, savoring every moment, touch, feel and sound. Just as they moved out of the kitchen, his phone rang. They both ignored it, until the answering machine picked up, announcing too loudly the female caller's message.

"Harm, hi, it's me. Listen, I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, but I've been really busy. Give me a call and we'll try to set up that dinner, o.k.? Bye." 

Harm's heart sank, but not nearly as low as Mac's. They broke the kiss and silently cursed the moment, now ruined by a phone call that meant something completely different to them both.

"Mac, listen, I'm sorry about that. It's nothing, really. Don't let it ruin our evening." He could see the hurt etched in her face and tried to lean in for another kiss.

She closed her eyes, but did not respond to the kiss. Instead, she was willing the tears not to fall. Damn! Why, of all times, did this have to happen now? She was telling herself that this must be a sign. That while Harm had seemed completely sincere, this woman clearly felt that there was something between them. And what if there was? What if Harm just hadn't committed fully one way or the other until tonight? The thoughts came flooding too quickly in to Mac's brain.

Harm could see the mental anguish that she was experiencing, and he was mad. Mad at himself, mad at the crappy timing that again occurred. "Mac, why don't we sit down. Let me explain this to you."

If Mac didn't get out of there soon, the tears that now filled her eyes were going to spill over, and she did not want that to happen. No matter what was going on with Harm, she did not want him to see her cry.

"Harm, I think it would be best if I left." She choked out the words as best she could.

"No, Mac. No, no, no! No more running away. We're going to sit and we're going to talk about this! If you would just listen, you would understand that it is not at all what it seems." He pleaded.

"Maybe it's not, but I—I can't. I can't do this right now." A tear fell first one, and then two and three. She wiped them away quickly, but only in time for new ones to fall. 

She headed for the door, but he tugged at her arm to stop her. His own voice growing frantic, he almost yelled, "Damnit, Mac! You felt it too, this connection between us tonight. You can't deny it. We've been fighting it for years! I don't want to fight it anymore, Mac, and deep down you don't either."

"You're right, Harm, I'm tired of fighting. Tired of running." She was trying to choke back the tears as quickly as they fell. She now had the saddest smile on her face that he had ever seen. It was like a knife through his chest.

"Mac, you have to know that there is no one in my life but you. There never will be." He was now choking on his own words. 

She looked down at his hand that was still tugging at her arm, and then looked up at him, still with a sad, beautiful smile. She wiped away the tear that rolled down his cheek and said,  
"I want to believe that, and you want to believe that, but there's a woman out there that apparently doesn't agree. I will not start a future with you like this Harm. As much as I want—" she began to cry even harder. "as much as I want that for us, it can't be like this." She removed his hand from her arm and was ready to walk out the door when he said it.

"Sarah, I love you. Please, _don't_ go."


	3. Don't Walk Away

Mac was visibly stunned. They stood there in silence, each gathering their thoughts. 

"Wh—what did you just say?" She said it as more of a statement. 

"I said that I love you, Sarah. And I don't want you to go." Harm felt like a thousand pounds had been lifted from his shoulders. For years he feared what saying these three little words would mean, but now that he said them, that he actually felt the meaning behind them, it was liberating.

Mac didn't move. She was frozen. A million thoughts were running through her mind. She had wondered for years what this moment would be like, but she never imagined that she would hear the words with tear-filled eyes and one hand on the doorknob.

"Harm, I…I don't want you to say that just because you're scared."

At any other moment, Harm would have been angry that his proclamation was being met with a rebuttal, but he knew this woman better than he knew himself. She was torn between wanting to hear the right thing and wanting to do the right thing. Now, in this moment, she wasn't sure which was better.

Harm gently took her hand and led her over to the couch, where he knelt down in front of her. He knew that she needed to see the sincerity in his eyes. She needed to see the emotion and to see that he meant what he said.

He took both of her hands in his own. "Mac, telling you that I love you is something that I should have done a long, long time ago. The night on the Admiral's porch, I tried, sort of, to get you to see what I felt. I've been a coward and I'm the first to admit that. But tonight, seeing you…you took my breath away and I knew. My body and my heart took over and left my brain behind. I'm sorry, Mac, if you think I'm rushing this, or if it seems like I'm desperate. I'm afraid that now that I've crossed the line that you will change your mind, get scared and run. I can't handle that, Mac. The last two and a half weeks have been hell. I can't explain it, but when you were gone and I didn't know where or why and I didn't have the chance to prepare myself.—I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder. That's the only way that I know how to explain it."

Her tears had slowed and she was beginning to calm herself down inside. He was right. She was good at running and if they had learned anything over the last nine years, it was that running away never solved anything. She didn't want to this time. She wanted to stay here, in his arms, but the sound of Alicia's voice on the machine and the thought of her standing in his doorway weeks ago—it was a major stumbling block and she couldn't help it.

"Harm, I have to ask." She looked up at the ceiling, disgusted that this precious, precious moment was going to be ruined by talk of another woman and her need for affirmation. She hated to appear needy or jealous, but it wasn't even that. She needed to know going forward that there were no loose ends anywhere, with anyone else.

Harm said nothing, rather he let go of Mac's hands, and walked over to the phone. He looked around on his desk for a piece of paper, and once he found it, he began dialing a number. Mac was confused.

He waited and waited, and clearly there was no answer. Instead, he decided to leave a message. "Alicia, hi, it's Harm and I'm sorry to be calling so late, but I got your message and I just needed to let you know that Mac is back in town now, and we're going to be spending a lot of time together, so dinner is out the window. You can stop by the office this week to get the rest of the notes on the case. Thanks." With that, he hung up and stared at Mac.

She was stunned again. Had he really just done that? A slow smile crept across her face. He was full of surprises tonight.

"How was that?" He asked, still intent.

"Harm, you didn't have to do that. Not for me." 

"Yes I did. And I'll do it again if I have to. I'll write it across the sky because I'm so _damn_ tired of seeing you walk out of that door, Sarah Mackenzie." Now he sounded like a father disciplining his child, but she could see the haze in his eyes and she knew that he was a man of his word.

Mac looked at him, from across the room. He was still in his tuxedo shirt and pants. Her body was telling her to walk over and to ravage him right there on the desk. The man was a physical piece of art. Instead, she decided to compromise.

She got up and walked slowly over to where he stood. She reached up and played with one of the buttons on his shirt. "Harm, I'm not going anywhere. I want to stay here, with you, tonight, but I don't want to rush. Is that o.k.?"

Harm let out a breath that he didn't know he'd been holding. He pulled her in to his arms and hugged her until she was almost out of air. "Does this mean that you want this too? You want there to be an 'us'?" He asked.

She nodded and looked up at him with eyes full or hope and longing. He cupped her face again and drew her mouth up to his for a long, searing kiss. When the kiss was broken, they both smiled. 

"Let's get you into something a little more comfortable." He said.

He led her again to his bedroom by the hand. He rummaged through his dresser drawer and pulled out a "Property of the U.S. Navy" T-shirt and threw it at her. She held it out in front of her and raised an eyebrow.

"We'll see about that." She smiled, turning on her heel to go in to the bathroom to change. 

When she came out, Harm was in his boxer shorts, waiting for her under the covers. She was taking her last earring out when she caught him looking at her. The shirt was a little long, but not knee length and it exposed her perfectly toned thighs. Her hair was still pulled up in a ball of loose curls. Again, she took his breath away.

"What?" She asked, nervously.

"You look even more beautiful than you did in your dress." His eyes were smoky again and Mac knew that it would not be easy to share a bed with this man if he kept this up. She placed her other earring on his nightstand and crawled under the covers in to his awaiting arms. She wrapped her arm around his chest and pulled him close. He kissed the top of her head.

"I'm glad you're here." He whispered, overcome with emotion. 

"So am I. So am I." She replied before willing herself to sleep.


	4. Where Were We?

Disclaimer: JAG and its characters do not belong to me. They are the property of Donald P. Bellisario.

A/N: Thank you for the kind reviews! This is my first case of fanfic writer's block. We'll see what happens!

THREE DAYS LATER 

Harm walked by Mac's office and saw that she was sitting at her desk, not moving, not doing anything. It was not like her not to be talking, typing, writing, something when she was in her office.

He knocked on the door. When she saw him, she hesitated, but said "Enter" anyway.

"What's up? You look a little distracted. Anything wrong?"

"Nope. Everything's fine." She tried to sound convincing.

He gave her a puzzled look. "We still on for dinner tonight?" he asked.

"Uh, I'm not sure, actually. I think that I may need to stay late to work on the Redding case." She was hedging.

Harm was confused, but didn't want to push here, now. "Are you sure that everything's o.k.?" He asked again.

"Yeah, fine. I'll call you later." She said, trying to appear somewhat normal.

"O.k. I'll wait to hear from you." He had a look of concern on his face when he left, but knew that he too had to appear normal before the others in the office. They had decided to keep their relationship to themselves for now. They were in the early stages and wanted to savor the newness of it all for themselves.

Mac stayed holed up in her office most of the day. Harm stuck his head in her door before leaving. "You doing o.k.?" He was hoping to see more cheer this time.

"Yeah. Good." 

"You'll call me later, right? Can you at least come over?" He asked.

"I'll try." It was non-committal and he was starting to get annoyed. 

He decided to leave before the got in to one of their famous fights. Then again, if they did, maybe the rest of the office would know that nothing had changed. He met Sturgis in the elevator and as they walked out, they made small talk. 

"How've you been?" Turner asked.

"Good. How 'bout yourself?"

"Not too bad. Busy like everyone else. Mac's not going to make the Redding case very easy on me." 

Harm smiled. "Did you think that she would?" 

The laughed and as they each got to their cars, Sturgis said, "Hey, when are we going to double date? I saw Alicia in the office today, but didn't get a chance to ask her."

Harm's face dropped. "Alicia? Was in the office today?"

"Yeah, I saw her talking to Mac, then she left with a file that Harriet handed her. Why? What's up?" 

"Nothing, uh, just didn't know that she stopped by. We're not seeing each other anyway." He had to confirm. 

"Oh, really. I didn't know. See you later." Thankfully Sturgis had left it at that. Harm's personal life was too complicated for his liking.

Now he knew exactly why Mac was being distant. But why in the world would Alicia be talking to Mac? Whatever it was, it could not have been good. He would talk to Mac later and hopefully sort the whole thing out.

He knew that Mac was stubborn and proud and probably wouldn't call him, so he decided to surprise her at her apartment with dinner. If he knew her, she would bring her case work home instead of staying at the office. Sure enough, as the pasta was boiling, he heard a key in her door. 

"Mac, hi!" He leaned in to give her a kiss.

"I thought I saw your car out there. What are you doing?" She tried to appear happy.

"I thought that I would bring dinner to you. I know that you work better at home when it's late. I hope that's o.k." He said, searching for some approval.

"Yeah, that's fine. Thanks." Her forced smiles were not lost on him.

"Mac, when were you going to tell me?"

She stared straight ahead, not answering. 

"Alicia…Sturgis said that she was in your office today. What happened?" 

"Nothing, Harm, really. I don't want to get in to it."

"It's obviously not 'nothing', Mac. You've been ignoring me all day. Please. Tell me."

Mac dropped her briefcase by the door and pulled her hair down. She was busy while she spoke. "Harm, I'm not going to get sucked in to some Jr. High love triangle, o.k.?" 

"Love triangle? What is that supposed to mean? You know that I want nothing to do with her."

"Somehow I don't think she got your memo."

"What do you mean? You heard the message that I left."

"Yeah…I don't think that sat too well with her. Seems she has a caddy side to her. She was all too eager to have me tell you that she stopped by and that you had her number if you needed anything else."

Harm was shocked. "Mac, I'm so sorry. I don't know what in the world would possess her to do such a thing." 

Mac was now in her bedroom changing clothes as the conversation continued. "Harm, I don't know and I don't care. Just please tell me that we won't have to deal with this kind of crap, o.k.?"

He followed her in to her room where she was pulling her favorite gray T-shirt over her head. He was amazed at her beauty in almost anything that she wore. They hadn't been together yet, and although he understood her hesitation, he was beginning to wonder how long he could make it. His body burned whenever she was near. Their kisses sent chills through his spine and he became like a teenage boy all over again. 

She wasn't alarmed by his entrance or when he sat down on her bed. She liked it that he felt comfortable there. She could see the worry forming on his face and while she didn't like the thought of Alicia being an issue for them, she could see that he was genuinely concerned. She plopped down on the bed beside him, laying on her side. 

"Harm. I'm fine. Don't let it get to you."

"Well it obviously got to _you. _That's what bothers me. I'm calling her again."

"No, don't. You'll only give her the attention that she's clearly trying to get." Mac let out a long sigh and rolled over on to her back, staring up at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry." Harm said.

"For what?"

"For bringing this complication in to our relationship so early."

"You mean you had planned on _waiting_ to be a pain in the ass?" She smiled, clearly feeling better.

"Ha, ha, Marine." He now laid on his side next to her, stroking her hair. "I mean it, Mac. I'm going to do whatever it takes to make this relationship work. I want to prove to you that I'm worth it."

She smiled at his choice of words. "Harm, you sound like you're doing a commercial for hair color." 

"Mac, you're not making this any easier. One minute you're mad, the next minute you're teasing me. I'm trying to be sensitive, here."

"And you're doing a very good job." She smiled again, leaning up to kiss him. 

"So what do you think we should do?"

"Well, first I think we should make out like love-sick teenagers, then we should eat some dinner, and then you should do the grunt work on the Redding case for me…" she was now planting a trail of kisses up and down his neck, forcing his eyes closed.

"Mac, if you don't stop doing that, there's going to be no dinner and no Redding case, believe me."

She ignored his admonition and kept kissing him on every inch of exposed skin that she could find.

"Maaaac…" 

Just as he was ready to melt in to her mattress, her phone rang. 

"Don't get it." He tried to order.

She sat up and leaned across him. Now every nerve in his entire body had come to life and he wanted to just ask her if she knew that he was killing her slowly and painfully, or if she was blissfully unaware.

"Mackenzie." She answered.

"Oh, hi." She tried not to sound too cheerful, which peaked Harm's curiosity.

He sat up and began his own assault of kisses on the back of her neck, making it difficult for her to talk.

"Yeah, it's been o.k., really. What about you? Good. That's great. Yeah, it sure was. Uh-huh, I know. It's been nice to be back." She let out a laugh at whatever the person on the other line had just said. "Yeah, yeah, I know. That certainly has never happened to me before." She smiled broadly. Harm stopped kissing. Something about the way this phone conversation was going made him uneasy. He sat back on his elbow, tracing small circles on her back, listening intently.

"Right, right." She continued, before getting serious. "Um, yeah, things have changed a little in that department." She was going to turn to look at Harm, but she couldn't. "Yeah, I know. Exactly. But thanks for understanding. Yeah, maybe another time. Goodbye." She placed the phone down gently in its cradle. She dreaded the look on Harm's face. 

She tried to distract him by turning around and continuing where they left off. "So, where were we?" 

He gave her a look that said, 'no way' and she knew that they were in for a discussion. "Who was that?" he asked, trying to sound calm.

"Harm." She rolled her eyes and tried again to kiss him.

"Mac." He wasn't going to give in.

"Alright, alright. It was Commander Stewart. He was on the Watertown the same time that I was." She grabbed a piece of her hair and began twirling it in her finger. 

"And?" 

"And, nothing. He wanted to know if we could have lunch sometime, and I told him no."

"Good answer." He was trying hard not to be jealous.

"Yes, I thought so." She smiled and made her third attempt for a kiss.

"So what else did he want?" 

Mac let out a frustrated sigh. "Harm, he was a nice man that asked me to lunch. I told him no. End of story."

"Why didn't you tell him about me?" 

"I did." 

"I never heard you mention my name."

"I told him that things had changed since my time on the Watertown, which clued him in to the fact that my love life is no longer in shambles. I apologize. Next time I will give proper credit to Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr., U.S. Navy Pilot, JAG attorney, insanely gorgeous, proud new owner of my heart." She was saying in mock seriousness.

"Good. You better." He had lightened up some and pulled her down hard on top of him, their faces less than an inch apart.

"Harm, I don't want us to be jealous of each other."

"There's a simple solution for that." He said as he pushed her hair back behind her ear.

"Oh yeah, and what's that?" 

"Never leave your apartment."

She smiled. "Right, now I can see how practical that would be. And what about you, Mr. Professor-still-wants-to-date-me? What about you?"

"That's easy. I'll stay here with you."

She closed the distance between them and lowered her mouth on to his, quietly muttering, "I could handle that."

He placed his hand on her six and began kissing her with fury, cupping his other hand behind her neck. "Now, where were we?"


	5. Where Are You?

Disclaimer: JAG and its characters belong to DPB.

Mac sat up in the middle of her bed sweating and heart beating faster than it should be. She looked around her room to make sure that she knew where she was. It had been a horrible dream, too real to shake off. She knew that Harm being out of town wouldn't be easy, but this was a different feeling than just missing him. It was fear. It was a sense of dread that she couldn't dismiss.

Their relationship had progressed nicely in the last several weeks. They spent a lot of time together running, seeing movies, eating out; things that new couples do when they first begin dating. The fact that they already knew each other so well meant that there were fewer awkward moments. They were each comfortable and yet out of their element. It was important to Mac to take things slow with Harm. It didn't make sense, on some levels, that she had waited so long for him and now that she had him she would slow down, but the mistakes from her past were ones that she vowed to learn from. Harm was not like anyone she had ever been with before and she wanted to cherish the purity of their relationship at this stage. 

For his part, he had been understanding and supportive. He knew that Mac had been burned before. His dating resume wasn't perfect, either. He committed physically without committing emotionally and that was going to change. The fact that they were honest with one another about what had gone wrong in the past made it easier for them to move forward with minimal conflict. They were happy, content, for the first time in a long, long time.

Mac assured herself of all of this as she sat in her bed, willing the images from the dream to leave her mind. When Harm was lost in the Atlantic, she had a similar feeling, but she had never dreamed about anything bad happening before now. In the dream it was dark all around, and she could sense that Harm was in trouble. She didn't know where he was or how to get to him, but she could hear him. She couldn't understand what he was saying, but she knew that he needed her. It was awful. So awful that she picked up the phone and dialed without caring what time it was.

He groggily answered his phone. "Hello?" 

"Harm, it's me. Thank God you're alright." She was almost out of breath from the anxiety.

"Mac? What is it? What's wrong?" His voice was quiet and raspy. She could picture him with eyes half shut, hair messy and boxer shorts on.

"Nothing, I…just had a bad dream and needed to hear your voice, that's all. Are you sure that everything's o.k.?" She asked again.

"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine. I'm sorry that you're not sleeping." Leave it to Harm to show compassion for her when she was the one that woke him up.

She smiled. "I wish you were here."

"Me too, baby." He mumbled sleepily. He had never called her 'baby' before. She kind of liked it. It seemed out of character for him, but that made it even more special.

"Where exactly are you, anyway?" 

"In a hotel just south of Norfolk. It's the Exit 32 Inn. Fancy, let me tell you." He smiled, starting to wake up.

"How's the case going?" Since she had him on the line, she figured that they might as well talk.

"Not bad. I think I'm gathering enough evidence to put the good Lt. behind bars for awhile. He's covered his tracks well, though. It's hard getting people to open up. This is a small town. He was their hero. No one can imagine that he would be involved in a shooting like this." 

"I'm sure you'll find out everything that you need to know. You can be very persuasive, you know."

"So I'm told." He smiled, trying to conceal a yawn.

"I'm sorry, Harm. I'll let you get back to sleep. Thanks for talking." 

"Anytime. Try to get some rest, Marine."

She smiled to herself, looking forward to their time together. 

"Goodnight." She said.

There was a pause, and then, "I love you." 

Mac was quiet. He hadn't said this since the night at his apartment. This was the first time that he had said it casually and yet it affected her almost more than the first time.

He wondered if he should have said it or not, but soon he got his answer.

"I love you too." 

There was another long pause.

"Harm?" 

"You love me." He repeated.

"More than you know."

"I can't wait to get home to hear you say it again. I like the sound of it."

"I love you." She said it again, triggering a moan from the other end of the phone.

"Mac, it's not that long of a drive, why don't you just jump in your car so that you can say it to my face?" He challenged, somewhat kidding.

She smiled again. He had a way of making her forget anything scary in her life. "Don't tempt me, Sailor, but tomorrow's a busy day. I miss you."

"I miss you too. I should be back by about noon. I'll call on the way."

"Be careful."

"I will. Goodnight."

With that, they both fell asleep, looking forward to the next day when they would see each other again.

FRIDAY 

It was now almost time to leave for the day and Mac hadn't heard a word from Harm. She was growing more and more concerned when he didn't answer his cell phone. It wasn't like him to turn it off. If he missed a call, he returned it as soon as possible. Soon the growing feeling of dread came over her again as it had the previous night. 

Without thinking, she grabbed the change of clothes from her duffel in the car, changed in the restroom and then headed down the interstate until she saw exit 32. Thankfully Harm had mentioned that much last night. 

She pulled in to the hotel parking lot and saw that his car was still there. She went to the desk and asked for Harm's room. The attendant was hesitant at first, but gave Mac a key anyway. Now the feeling of dread had blossomed in to full blown fear. When she opened the door to his room, she gasped for air. The bed was perfectly made, but there were clothes strewn all over the place and papers all over the floor. 

She looked around and saw that his cell phone and his laptop were still there, as well as his wallet and keys. She covered her mouth with her hand, trying not to lose it. She quickly checked the bathroom and the closet as if he would be hiding, or hurt. There was no sign of him. She picked up his cell phone and dialed 911. "Yes, I'd like to report a missing person. Exit 32 Inn. Room 212." She held the tears in until she hung up. This was obviously a crime scene, so she didn't want to mess anything up. She looked at the chair and saw his U.S. Navy T-shirt hanging off of the side. She picked it up and drew it up to her face, taking in his scent. Tears now rolled down her cheeks, falling freely on to the gray fabric.

Ten minutes later, when the police arrived, she explained everything that she knew; how he hadn't made it back when he said he would, how he hadn't answered his phone, how they had just spoken the night before. 

The policemen were annoyingly uninterested. Mac began to lose her cool when they suggested that she give it another twelve hours to see if maybe someone dropped him off.

"So you're telling me that you're going to stand here and not do a damn thing about this?" She barked in her best Marine voice.

"Sorry, ma'am. There's nothing we can do." 

Mac ushered them out, completely unimpressed and completely aware that if Harm were to be found, it would be up to her. She began frantically searching through his paper work. Nothing of any real relevance jumped out at her. She scanned his cell phone for any recently dialed calls and saw none that were out of the ordinary.

She scanned the room one more time searching for anything that might give her a clue as to why he had left, or how he had left. She noticed his laptop again. He had been telling her that he was going to try to be more organized, which meant keeping notes on his computer instead of scribbled on pieces of paper like he had done in the past.

She turned it on, and waited for the icons to appear. The box appeared that asked for his password. 'Damn!' She muttered. 'Let's hope it's something obvious.'

She typed in words like 'Tomcat', 'GoNavy', 'Stearman', 'Flyboy' and 'Jetjock'. She tried every possible combination of lettering, spelling and numerals. Nothing was coming to her and the sound of the computer's rejection beep was enough to make her insane. 'Come on!' She said loudly. As she sat tapping her fingers on the desk, another thought occurred to her. She typed in 'Sarah', but had no luck. 'What else would he use as his password?' She was feeling desperate.

Then, she tried again. She typed in the word 'Ninjagirl' and much to her surprise, it worked. She was touched, but too intent on finding information as soon as possible to dwell on the sweetness of his choice. She scanned the many icons that now lit the screen before her. 'Ames' was the name of a folder, as was 'Johnson1', JamesCtMtrl' and then she saw it: 'LtBiggs'. She double clicked the folder and a slow smile spread across her face. It was as if Harm had left her a letter explaining it all. Lt. Biggs was the golden boy in town, who made everyone proud when he joined the service. Apparently he had been involved in the shooting of a female waitress and was hiding out in his hometown under the protection of just about everyone around. Mac continued to read Harm's notes in the file and when she saw several addresses written down, she copied them hurriedly on to a piece of hotel stationary and was out the door.

Thankfully the town was small and it had gotten dark, so her vehicle wasn't noticeable. The first two addresses were small houses, with nobody home. The third was a grocery store that was now closed. The fourth and final address was her only hope. It was a county road, but she knew that she would find it if she just kept her eyes open. She took a deep breath before driving through a four-way stop. She had to concentrate. 'Come on, Harm, where are you?' she wondered aloud.

Driving through the small intersection, she followed a winding road that led to a gravel drive. At the end of the drive appeared to be a house or a building of some sort with lights on. She had to try. This would be as good a place as any to keep a JAG lawyer that you didn't want snooping around. 

She thought for a moment about back up. The policemen that she had spoken to earlier made it clear that they were going to be no help. In fact, her intuition was telling her that they probably knew exactly where Harm was. The small town code of honor was one that she knew would not be easily broken when the reputation of the town hero was at stake. 

After weighing her options, she leaned over and reached in to her glove box. Out fell a 9mm handgun. She checked it for ammunition, took a deep breath, and then parked her car off the road and behind some trees. It would be a long walk in the dark, but she had strong feeling about Harm being here.

'I'm coming, Harm. I'm coming.'


	6. The Marine Makes Her Move

Mac couldn't remember the last time that she had to walk in the dark without a flashlight. She stepped carefully and quietly, trying to avoid the dead leaves on the ground below. It felt like forever before she got to the house, which really appeared to be a barn that had been furnished. Thankfully there were trees everywhere, so hiding wasn't a problem. There were two cars parked in the drive, and she could hear music and voices coming from inside. She decided to walk all the way around the building to see if there was any sign of Harm. The large front doors were cracked, and she could hear two men talking and laughing, followed by the sound of cans being opened.

There were only two windows on the side of the barn, and she carefully stood on her toes to see in. The two men were sitting at a table, drinking and playing cards. But there was no Harm. She decided to move to the front again to see if she could hear anything. She was in luck.

"So, how much longer are we going to keep him, Jimmy?" The larger man asked.

"I don't know. Til' he's scared enough to stop asking questions."

"He don't seem too scared to me."

"Well, he will be by the time we're done with him. If not, he'll just have to disappear."

That must have been Lt. Biggs speaking. Mac was thankful that Harm was o.k. Now she just had to find him. If she had to bust in through the front doors, she would, but without backup, that wasn't her first choice. Feeling her way to the back of the building, she felt the cracks around what felt like a door. She found a latch that was closed tight and not budging. If she shot it open, they might hear her. If she kicked it down, they would definitely hear her. However, the barn was large and the two men were at the front. She decided to try forcing it open with the handle of her gun. Slowly it gave, and she was able to step inside. It was musty and smelled like animals. There was some light, however, and she could see the cracks of several more doors on either side of her.

She felt like she was on a game show, deciding which door Harm was behind. She knew that they didn't have much time, and she hoped that he would be in good enough condition to run. Finally, she heard it. A sound coming from the door that she had just passed. It was a groan, sort of. This was definitely Harm's voice. Her adrenaline began pumping as she reached for the latch on the door. It opened easily, and thanks to the small lantern in the corner, she saw him, bound to a chair with his mouth taped shut. 

His eyes sprang to life when he saw her. She placed on finger over her lips signaling him to be quiet. He nodded, and she began to untie the rope from his wrists. Once his hands were free he pulled the tape from his own mouth, eager to talk. "Mac, thank God. How did you find me?" He whispered, pulling her in to a hug.

"Later, Harm. We've got to get you out of—" Just then they heard the voices from the two men coming their way. Harm looked at Mac and they each nodded. He sat back down and pretended to have his hands tied behind the chair. She quickly placed the tape over his mouth and hid behind the door.

"Oh lawyer boy!" They sang in drunken voices. "Time for another lesson in minding your own business!" They laughed.

"Larry, did you leave this door open?" Lt. Biggs wondered, but was too drunk to care.

They stepped inside and just as they went to stand beside Harm, Mac emerged from behind the door with her weapon drawn. 

"Stop right there." She kept the gun pointed directly at the two men. "Move it! Over there, in the corner_. NOW!_ You make one move and I'll shoot." She barked. 

Harm stood and pulled the tape off once more and was about to say something when both men made a run for the door. One gunshot was fired and then two, as Harm watched the men fall to the ground wailing in pain.

Mac stood in place, gun still pointed. The look on her face was intense. She was on a mission, and she was not about to let these two men free.

"Congratulations, Lt. Now you have added criminal confinement as well as assault to your murder charge. I hope it was worth it." Harm was tired and out of breath.

Mac had shot both men in the legs, so that they were unable to walk. She and Harm made it to the car and drove back up to the barn. Both men were still wailing in pain. They decided that the local police were not worth calling. At least, not alone. They made a phone call from her cell to the State Police branch, filling them in on what they would find. They called the local police department, too, who arrived within minutes.

After giving them their statements and making sure that the State Police was handling the situation adequately, they fell in to her car. Harm immediately reached over to grab her hand. 

"I've never been so glad to see you in all my life."

"Same here. Are you o.k.?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. They just roughed me up a little, but I think it was about to get more serious once they figured out they had gone too far." 

Mac shuddered at the thought of what could have happened to Harm. They met half way for a long overdue kiss. 

"Let's go, Sailor. You haven't exactly made friends in this town."

They agreed that staying in the hotel was not a wise choice. Once word spread that Harm had gotten free and that a femal had shot two of the town's residents, they would not be popular in the least.

They quickly gathered his things and decided to head the rest of the way home. They knew that if they just pulled off at any exit to stay the night, they could be easily tracked down. Harm had forgotten that they each had a car. The realization spread across his face, the disappointment clear. "I'll follow you." Mac said.

He couldn't help hugging her and kissing her once more. "Thank you, Mac." 

"I'd do anything for the man that I love." She smiled. She started to get in to her car when he stopped her. It was the first time that she had alluded to loving him face to face. He pulled her mouth up to his and delivered a long, firm, kiss. 

"We need to get going." She reasoned and he agreed with a nod. "I'll have my phone on if you want to talk." She smiled.

"It's not as good as having you next to me, but it will have to do."

They headed back to Washington, safe, alive, and unaware of the wrath that would await them in the office on Monday.

TBC


	7. A Sad Goodbye

A/N: The following chapter probably portrays the Admiral in a light that we are not used to seeing, but it was necessary for the story line. I know that many of you don't like characters to stray at all from the behavior that we know from the show. Hopefully it's not too drastic to buy. Thank you, Janlaw, MichelleUK, ma3306, starryeyes10, lynnp, daisymh, froggy0319, cbw, ams9799 and Colonelsarahmackenzie for your kinds reviews! You're all so motivating.

DISCLAIMER: JAG and its characters belong to DPB.

"Rabb! Mackenzie! My office now!" The Admiral bellowed as he walked past. 

They followed him in to his office and stood at attention in front of his desk. He pulled his glasses off of his face and looked at them sternly.

"Explain." 

"Sir?" Harm questioned.

"Commander, last thing I knew, you were headed to Fairfield to investigate a shooting involving Lt. Biggs. Next thing I know, your sidekick here is doing a little shooting of her own! Now do you mind filling me in on just what the hell happened in between?"

Harm kept his composure and explained how Mac had put the pieces of his disappearance together and had been diligent in finding him. "She saved my life, sir, " He concluded.

The Admiral leaned back in his chair and directed his attention toward Mac, who was still standing straight, looking ahead. When he let out a sigh, the officers knew that his temper was cooling and that he was about to reason with them. This time, there was no sigh.

"Colonel, will you explain to me _why_ you thought it was a good idea to go armed, at night, alone and _without backup_ in to a potentially violent situation that you knew nothing about?" He was yelling at the end of the question.

She opened her mouth to answer, but was cut short. "Never mind. Commander, dismissed. I'll expect your report by the end of the day."

Harm glanced at Mac, who was still staring straight ahead. He closed the door behind him regretfully, wishing that he could remain in the room to make sure that she didn't get all of the blame.

"At ease." The Admiral spoke again. "Have a seat."

Mac sat, crossed her legs, and folded her hands in her lap. She was ready for whatever it was he was going to say. Or, so she thought.

"Colonel, you are one of the finest officers in the JAG corps and I believe that you know that. But I would be lying if I didn't tell you that you exercised a severe lack of judgment in this instance. You both could have been killed. You do realize that, don't you?" 

"Yes sir. But the safety of my fellow officer was more important at the time, sir."

Surely he understood this. It was what he preached, and yet for some reason, he was coming down hard on her this time. He seemed conflicted about something. What, she couldn't be sure.

Finally, the sigh came. "Colonel, a situation has come up that the CIA has requested assistance on. It's a sensitive matter, and at first I told Webb to bug off. But given your recent inclination to play Superman, I see that maybe you could use an adventure. Maybe it will get this need for danger out of your system." 

"Sir, I—"

"Tiner, send Webb in." 

Mac was confused. Was the Admiral ordering her to go on a mission with the CIA? True, she should have called for back up, but he wasn't hearing her point about the Fairfield police being unreliable. The Admiral seemed to be using her to make a point, in some bizarre way. 

When Webb walked in and said, "I need a wife." She almost became sick. The more he spoke, the smaller the room became. This was going to be a dangerous mission, and not one that she was on board with. Her palms began to sweat as he concluded his explanation.

"So, are you in?" He looked at her, waiting for a reply.

She looked pleadingly at the Admiral. "Sir, is this an order?" She had never disobeyed a direct order, and yet she was tempted to if that's what this was. How could she leave Harm? He had almost gotten himself killed, they had just begun dating…

The Admiral looked at her sternly. "No, Colonel, it's not an order. But I would suggest that you consider the mission, especially given the agency's need for someone who speaks Farsi.

"You don't have other field agents that speak Farsi?" She looked at Webb. Mac was not giving in without a fight.

"I'm unable to comment on that or why exactly we're asking you. Mac, listen, it's a chance for you to spread your wings, to get out of the courtroom and to help crack one of the biggest diamond smuggling rings in South America." 

She couldn't breathe. Webb and the Admiral were both staring at her, waiting for a reply. "And if I don't accept the assignment?" She looked directly at the Admiral. The look in his eyes said it all. No words were necessary. She felt like he was feeding her to the dogs. His loyalty to his officers was now questionable in her mind. She was in no position to politely decline, given her recent actions, and yet she knew that her leaving would send Harm reeling.

The Admiral faked indifference when he saw moisture forming in her eyes. "O.k. I'll do it." She swallowed, and left the office with Webb for a briefing before they left. 

'Damnit.' The Admiral said aloud when they were gone. 'What the hell have I just done?'

LATER THAT EVENING 

Harm hadn't seen Mac the rest of the day and she wasn't answering her cell. Not because she didn't hear it, but because she couldn't get in to this on the phone. Instead, she drove to his apartment and knocked on the door. She could hear the guitar playing softly in the background. 

"Hey!" He said, pulling her in to his apartment and greeting her with a kiss. "Where have you been? How did it go with the Admiral?" He could see that something was terribly wrong. She was dressed in a black, v-neck dress and had on a humongous diamond necklace that he had never seen before. Something wasn't right.

"Shhh." She placed her finger on his lips. "No talking. Not tonight." A tear rolled down her cheek as she leaned in to kiss him with sadness and passion combined. He placed his hands firmly on her hips and returned the kiss for all it was worth. They retreated to his bedroom where few words were spoken. She was sad, and that made him sad, but she needed him now. More than ever. Before falling on to the bed, she stopped him. 

"You know that I love you. More than life itself."

"Mac, you're scaring me." He whispered.

Another tear rolled down her cheek. "Hold me." She cried. "Hold me and promise me that you'll always be there." She began to cry. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. 

"Always." He said. 

TBC


	8. Distractions

Disclaimer: JAG and its characters do not belong to me.

"Sarah, you're going to have to be a little more convincing if we're going to pull this off." Webb spoke through a smile as he held her hand in his. They were at a small, outdoor café in Paraguay and were waiting to hear from their contact.

Mac tried not to smirk, but this was hard. Feeling Webb near her, touching her often like Harm would do—it made her miss him even more. She tried to get her head wrapped around this mission, to concentrate so that they could complete it and get home, but she was having trouble. Harm was all that she could think about and Webb was starting to get the picture.

"I'm sorry dear, what were you saying?" She faked a smile in return.

Soon a man approached their table. "Mister Smith, I presume?" He spoke in a thick accent.

Webb stood to greet him. "Yes, and this is my wife, Belinda." Mac felt like a defiant child. She wanted to say, 'No, I'm not' and run away. Instead, she extended her hand for yet another kiss on the hand from a man that wasn't Harm.

They spoke briefly with the man who told them that Mr. Ramirez would be interested in meeting with them. He admired the necklace that Mac wore and had trouble taking his eyes off of her. Webb never let go of her hand on the table.

Once the meeting was arranged, Mac stood and dismissed herself. A bold move, considering the fact that the Webb was to be running the show. "Honey, I'm a little tired from the flight. I think I'm going to rest for awhile, if that's o.k." He gave her a look that was less than approving, but stood anyway to dismiss her with a kiss on the cheek.

"Sure, I'll see you in a few minutes." He smiled.

She eagerly took off for their hotel room. She knew that she wasn't supposed to, but she pulled out her cell phone and decided to call him. She needed to hear his voice.

"Hello?" He was excited to see her number appear on his phone.

"Hey, Sailor." She smiled.

"Hey yourself. How's it going?" 

"Ugh. I think I'd rather be chased by poachers in the woods." She laughed at the memory now.

He smiled. "You're being careful, aren't you?" 

"Always. I can't wait to get home." She knew better than to give him details about their mission, even though she wanted to.

"Mac, be careful."

"I will. I've got to go. Love you." She hurried and closed the phone before Webb came back in the room.

He looked at her as if he was disappointed. "Sarah, what was that all about? You were supposed to help me out down there."

"No, I wasn't. I'm supposed to help you when we meet with Mr. Ramirez and negotiate the price of the diamonds. That's why I'm here and that's what I'll do. Sitting at a café and letting you play house with me is not going to be my first priority."

"Well I suggest that you make it a priority, because if they suspect us even for one second, this thing could get ugly, and fast."

She knew that he was right. It's not like she'd never been away from Harm before. She knew that she needed to concentrate on getting Mr. Ramirez to reveal his source so that they could leave as quickly as possible.

"O.k." Was all that she said. "What time do you want to leave?" She asked.

"In an hour. Why don't you use that time to study up on the book about diamonds that I gave you. I want us to be ready for anything that they ask."

She nodded in agreement and sat down to read.

Back home in his apartment, Harm was having trouble getting to sleep. He lay on his back and looked up at the ceiling. His mind was racing and he was trying to think of anything other than Mac being with Webb hundreds of miles away, possibly in danger. He stood and walked over to his dresser. He pulled the top drawer open and rummaged through the clothing until he found it. He pulled out a small, black velvet box and opened it. There, inside was a shiny, platinum diamond ring. He had had it made for Mac but she had to leave town before it was complete.

He looked at it as if it brought her closer to him. He couldn't wait to ask her to marry him. For once he knew what he wanted and a future as husband and wife no longer seemed scary. In fact, it only looked scary without her. He closed the box and placed in back in the drawer.

PARAGUAY 

Webb and Mac pulled up behind the jeep and got out to see several men standing around with weapons in their hands. She made eye contact with Gunny and tried to look away as if she didn't recognize him.

Webb placed his hand on her back as the man placed the diamonds on the hood of the car. Mac picked them up individually and examined them closely as if she had done this her whole life. 

"We could get $50,000 for the lot in Tel Aviv, darling." And that's when it all went south.

TBC

A/N: I apologize for the lack of detail in this chapter. I don't want this to be an exact spin off of LGAM or the whole Paraguay fiasco. The next chapter will be better, I promise!


	9. Who Are You?

DISCLAIMER: JAG and its characters belong to DPB.

Everything happened so fast. The next thing Mac knew, she was being taken away in a Jeep with Gunny and another bodyguard. Webb was taken somewhere else. She had no idea if they were going to be together or not. She wondered what had tipped the men off at the meeting. It was almost as if they had planned on abducting them from the beginning. They showed no interest in her comments on the diamonds. None of it was making sense.

"Where are we going?" Mac demanded to know. The driver ignored her and kept speeding ahead down the dirt road. 

Thankfully, Gunny was in the back seat with her, but could say nothing. He only looked at her, but Mac was unable to read if his eyes were flashing fear or reassurance. The jeep pulled up to a small compound about ten miles away from where they had had their meeting. Gunny grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the back seat. 

"Our boss wants to meet you." He said.

"I just met Mr. Ramirez, and he didn't seem to happy to see me." Mac spat.

"Not him."

Now she was really confused. And where was Webb? She knew that she needed to keep up the appearance. "Where is my husband? What have you done with him?" She demanded.

No one answered. Instead, he guided her up the steps and into a small house. There was only one room, and there in the corner, smoking a cigar and looking all too happy, was a man whose presence sent chills down her spine.

Sadiq nodded at the men and they turned to leave. She was alone now with one of the most dangerous terrorists in the country. Webb had suspected his involvement, and had briefed her on his ability to disguise himself as well as his hate for westerners. She knew that he was dangerous. Fear gripped her momentarily, but it never showed.

"Sit." He ordered.

Mac didn't. She was annoyed and she let it show. "What have you done with my husband?" She demanded again.

"Sit." He said again.

She looked around the room as if deciding if she would obey or not. She certainly didn't jump when he spoke. This both annoyed and intrigued him. Finally, she sat on the cot behind her.

"You American women. Always defiant." He said.

"Only when our basic human rights are being violated." She countered.

He smiled an evil smile. "You have no rights." 

"And why is that, because I'm a woman?"

"A woman and an infidel." 

"You don't know me."

He smiled between puffs of his cigar.

"What have you done with my husband?" She asked.

"In due time, in due time."

"What do you want with me?" She was growing impatient. 

"Perhaps I should be asking you the same thing."

"What are you talking about?"

"Who do you work for and why are you here?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"My husband is an American businessman, self-employed."

"Is that so?" 

"Yes." She stated firmly.

"Raul!" He shouted.

A man entered the house and they exchanged words in Farsi. Mac did not like what she heard. Sadiq asked the man if he had found anything interesting. The man indicated that he had, and Sadiq asked him to bring it to him. 

When the man came back in to the house, Mac was horrified. He had her suitcase and her purse. She tried not to let her emotions show, but it wasn't easy. 

The man left her belongings and walked out again. Sadiq looked at her. "Well, what do you have here? Perhaps this will help me to learn more about you, since you are unwilling to talk."

"Where did you get that?" She was livid.

He threw his cigar on the floor and stepped on it with his foot. Reaching for her duffel bag, she stood to stop him. "You can't just go through my things!" She was angry.

He laughed bitterly. "Sit." 

She stepped back reluctantly and sat down. He pulled several items of clothing from her bag one at a time. "American whore." He said as he freely handled her nightclothes. He found a book about diamonds and looked at her.

"Interesting." 

She did not respond. He threw her clothes on to the floor and pushed the bag aside. Next he reached for her purse. She drew in her breath. "You can't do that." 

With this, he laughed out loud. "I can and I will." His eyes were sharp. He pulled out her passport and opened it. "Belinda Smith." He looked at it and then at her, several times. He pulled out her makeup, money and chewing gum. Suddenly, he stopped. "Ahhh." He said. "Perhaps this will tell me what it is that you are hiding from me." He held her cell phone in his hand.

At this, she lost it. She lunged for the phone but Sadiq slapped her hard across the face. "You will not disrespect me!" He screamed.

"You know nothing about respect." She spat on his shoes, holding her hand to her cheek. She was infuriating and intriguing to him. 

"Sit now or you will never see the light of day again."

She sat and watched as he played with the buttons on her phone. She hoped against all hope that he did not know what to look for. 

"Last call dialed." He said mockingly. "I wonder who will answer." He pushed the button and held the phone up to his ear. 

"Rabb." She could hear his voice from where she sat. She closed her eyes in regret. 

"Mac, is that you? Talk to me. Is everything o.k.?" He asked. It was killing her.

"Your friend…she is unable to speak at the moment." Sadiq was playing with them both now. 

"Who the hell is this! Where is she?" Harm demanded from the other line. "What have you done with Sarah?" He had unknowingly just given Sadiq the answer that he was looking for.

"I'm o.k.!" She yelled, hoping that he could hear her.

"Sarah!" He yelled. "Let me talk to her now."

Sadiq hung up the phone and threw it across the room. 

"So, Sarah is it, or 'Mac'?" 

Her eyes were filled with fury. 

"This has been helpful." He stood to leave. 

"Where are you going? Where is my husband?"

"Husband?" He laughed. "Just who is your husband? The man on the phone or the man that only has hours to live?" With that, he was gone.

She paced the room back and forth for almost an hour. She tried to use her phone again but the battery had been knocked out and it was not working. Biting her thumbnail, trying to think of a way out, she was surprised when the door was flung open and in fell Webb. Beaten and bloodied, she ran to his side.

Sadiq stepped over him and looked at them both. 

"So, are you two ready to tell me who you are and who you work for?" 

Mac was horrified at the sight of Webb. "Sarah—" he muttered inaudibly.

She tried to wipe the blood from his mouth to no avail.

"Go to hell!" She yelled at Sadiq.

He threw his head back and laughed. "I see. If this is how it is going to be, then you will be sorry. Perhaps when you hear the cries of this man from the other room, you will be more willing to talk." 

"No!" She yelled and stood to face him.

"Just tell me what you want. Anything. Just don't hurt him anymore."

Sadiq raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Such loyalty to the man that does not hold your heart? Or is he one of many…" 

"Just leave him alone. I'll tell you whatever it is that you want to know."

Her nerve challenged him. "Ten minutes. If you do not tell me what I wish to hear, he dies." 

She nodded, at much to Webb's dismay, was escorted out of the house by Sadiq and his men.

He led her to a room in the cellar that was dark and musty. He pulled the chain to the light bulb above so that he could see her. 

"Now, Sarah, Mac, tell me. Who sent you here and why?" 

"Mr. Ramirez contacted my husband about buying some diamonds. He needed my advice, so we came for a meeting."

Sadiq stared at her for a moment. Then, in one quick motion, he slapped her face again and yelled, "Liar! Do not waste my time, fool. You will regret your actions."

His anger had turned to rage. For the first time since she'd been brought here, tears filled her eyes. This seemed to bring him pleasure.

"Raul. Stand guard outside the door. I have business to tend to with the other American traitor."

"No, wait!" She yelled, but her cry went unanswered. She kicked at nothing on the floor and sat down with her head in her hands and cried until the tears would no longer fall.

**JAG OFFICE, SAME TIME**

Harm demanded to go in to the Admiral's office. When he walked in, the Admiral was on the phone signaling for him to hold on a moment. When he hung up, he rubbed the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. 

"Have a seat." He said.

"Sir, I'm concerned about Colonel Mackenzie. I just received a phone call—"

"Save it. We have every reason to be concerned. My contact seems to think that Webb is likely dead and that Mac is either being held against her will or that she is dead too."

Harm's eyes grew wide in horror. "Sir, let me—"

"Absolutely not. I can't have two of my officers down there getting mixed up in who knows what kind of mess."

"But sir, this is Mac that we're talking about." He pleaded.

"I know, son, and believe me, I'm just as worried as you are, but there's not a damn thing that you could do if you went down there."

"Sir, with all due respect, I can find her."

"How?"

"I'll…I'll…find her!" It was a lame response, but it came from the heart.

"No."

"Then I request—"

"Request denied." The Admiral was losing patience.

Harm took a deep breath. "Then I'll have my resignation drawn up and on your desk by the end of the day."

"Commander, you need to think long and hard about what you're saying."

"Sir, my career in the Navy is my life. But I cannot sit by and watch while the life of my partner is jeopardized. She had no business going there in the first place."

The Admiral knew that he was right, but he couldn't admit it out loud. 

"Is that all that this is about?"

"No sir." Harm couldn't lie.

Instead of pushing for details, the Admiral stood toe to toe with Harm and said in a low voice, "You have precisely five days, Commander. Not an hour longer. Now get out of my sight before I change my mind!" He muttered.

"Yes sir. I'll find her, sir."

'You better.' The Admiral said to himself when Harm left. 'You better.'

TBC

A/N: I'm sorry to leave you hanging again but it's been a long chapter! Next update tomorrow. Thank you for the reviews!**  
**


	10. I'm Here

DISCLAIMER: JAG and its characters do not belong to me. They are the property of DPB.   
Harm was walking the streets of Ciudad del Este looking for anyone who might be able to help him locate Mac. "Have you seen her?" He asked in his best Spanish, as he would hold out a picture of her. Most kept walking; some shook their heads no. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack. The city was busy with people coming and going, no one knew where Webb was and Harm had no idea who had spoken to him on the phone. 

He turned the corner to walk down an alley when someone came up from behind him and grabbed his arm. He began to fight the man off, when he realized that it was Gunny. "Victor?" He was surprised to see him.   
"Not here." Gunny said, and led him in to the alley where they stepped inside a restaurant. 

"What are you doing here?" Gunny wanted to know.   
"I came to find Mac. Do you know anything?"

Gunny nodded and looked around nervously. "Sadiq, he has eyes all over the city."

"Sadiq Fahd?" Harm was stunned.   
Gunny nodded again. "He's my boss." 

"Does he have Mac?" Harm wanted to know immediately.   
"Yes. But he won't for long if we don't make a move. He sent me in to town to buy her some more 'appropriate' women's attire. I think he's thinking of taking her out of the country." 

Harm was confused. "Why? Where is Webb?"

Gunny shook his head. "I don't know for sure, but I don't think he made it."   
"So what does Sadiq want with Mac?"

"I think he sees her as a challenge, a woman to be tamed."

Harm scoffed. "Does he know who he's dealing with?" 

"I think so. He's intrigued by her charm and her intelligence, but he's losing patience with her defiant American attitude."   
"Well, what are we going to do, then? Your cover still hasn't been blown?" 

"Not yet, but it will be if I'm seen talking to you. I'm in a red Jeep, two blocks from here. Get in the back and get down. We'll talk on the way."   
Harm was relieved. Gunny was the missing piece to the puzzle. Now if he could just get to Mac before Sadiq did anything stupid. 

On the way to Sadiq's compound, Gunny and Harm came up with a plan. Harm would hide at the top of the hill and wait for the opportunity to take out one of the bodyguards. There were only two still around besides Gunny. If what Gunny said was right, the two would be standing outside Mac's door until he got there, and then one would leave with Sadiq no matter where he went. If Harm could get a shot at the bodyguard by the door and surprise Sadiq and the other man, then Gunny could get out with Mac.

Harm's stomach was filled with butterflies. She was close, he could feel it. And she was alive. He couldn't wait to take her in his arms. Gunny let Harm off at the top of the hill before driving down to deliver her clothing. Sadiq usually left Gunny alone with Mac, unaware that the two knew each other. He would inform her of Harm's arrival and their plan to escape. Soon it would all be over, he told himself.

When Gunny arrived at the house, the bodyguards stopped him from entering. He could hear Mac arguing with Sadiq. "This goes against everything that your religion teaches!" She yelled.

"You know nothing about my religion."

"I know that it teaches peace and not violence."

With this he became angry and slapped her for the third time, this time knocking her down.

"You will do as I say or you will die." He stepped over her and walked angrily out the door.

When he saw Gunny, he instructed him to go inside and to make sure that Mac put on the long dress and scarf. Just as he and his other bodyguard walked away, Harm fired the first shot, but missing the bodyguard. Sadiq stopped and drew his weapon, looking out in to the bushes. He yelled something in Farsi, and before Gunny could tell Mac what was happening, the door was flung open and Sadiq grabbed Mac by the throat, placing the gun to her head. 

The bodyguards ran up the hill to see who had fired the shot. Harm shot the closest man to him and he fell to the ground, rolling down the hill. He wondered why Gunny was not moving with Mac. Something didn't feel right. It was time for Gunny to act, but Sadiq had a gun to Mac's head and now Harm was waging a war with the second bodyguard. Several shots were fired when Gunny took off running up the hill. Sadiq was confused and clearly not comfortable without a bodyguard near by. Mac struggled to free herself, but he was strong and he only tightened his grip.

When Gunny made it to the top of the hill, he saw that both bodyguards were dead. "Quick. Fire another shot!" He yelled at Harm. Gunny then let out a loud yell and pretended to roll down the hill wounded. 

Just as this happened, Sadiq went back inside the house with Mac. "You will not move or the woman will die!" He yelled in to the trees, not knowing who his attacker was.

He pointed the gun at Mac. "Change. Now!" He ordered. He was flustered and wanted to move quickly. The fact that he was waiting for Mac instead of leaving on his own showed that he was more taken with her than he would have liked to have been. He was agitated. 

Mac disobeyed, knowing that whoever had killed the bodyguards was there to get her out. If she fled with Sadiq, she may never make it back home alive. Harm ran down the hill. Gunny got up, and both men hid behind Sadiq's van and took the time to reload their weapons. 

"Now what?" Harm wondered.

"We have to be careful. He's got a gun and he's got Mac in there alone." 

"What are we waiting for? Let's—"

Just as Harm spoke, the men heard four gunshots ring out, one after another after another.

"_Noooo!"_ Harm screamed as he ran up to the house and kicked down the door.

Gunny followed close behind and as they entered, they saw Sadiq on the floor gasping for air. Mac stood across the room holding the gun, still pointed at him.

"Mac, thank God you're all right!" Harm walked over to her, but saw that she was almost in a hypnotic state. She stood, frozen, with her hands in a white-knuckled grip on the gun, ready to pull the trigger again.

"Mac, it's me. I'm here. Everything's going to be o.k." 

She heard him, but did not move. A single tear slid down her cheek, clearing the dirt on her face from its path. Harm had never seen her like this. He was afraid. 

Gunny bent down to check the pulse of Sadiq. "He's still breathing." He said, and looked at Mac and then at Harm, whose position had not changed.

"Sir, we've got to get out of here. Sadiq has men all over the countryside. We won't be safe here for much longer."

Harm knew that he was right. "Mac, baby, please. Put the gun down. He can't hurt you anymore. I'm here now. Put the gun down and let's get out of here."

Mac's lip quivered as another tear fell. Harm knew that whatever Sadiq had done to get inside of Mac's head had worked. She stared down in to his eyes that were still not closed. He stared back, looking in to her soul.

"Sarah…" he muttered.

"Maam, take him out! Finish him off!" Gunny yelled.

She shook her head no, apparently growing agitated. "Where's Webb! What did you do with him! Where is he?" She asked.

The slow, evil grin that she had grown to hate spread across his face once more and she shot him in the leg. He groaned in pain, but did not answer. Gunny and Harm knew that Mac had to settle this on her own, in her own way.

"Mac—" Harm reached for the gun, but she shot him a glare that told him to back off.

Her hands began to shake and she continued to lock eyes with Sadiq. After what felt like an eternity of silence, she spoke. "No. I won't do it. I won't be a part of your cause. I won't. I won't. I won't." As she spoke, she slowly lowered the gun and the tears began to fall. She let out a sob just in time for Harm to grab her. The gun fell to the floor and she reached up to embrace the man that she loved as her sobs became uncontrolled.

Sadiq closed his eyes as his head fell to the floor. "Come on. Let's go!" Gunny yelled.

Harm guided Mac out of the house with her drawn tightly to him. When they got to the door, they stopped. Mac turned around and looked back at Sadiq one more time, and then left. 

The Jeep was started and the three made their way in to town, while inside the house, the man that had forced himself inside of Sarah Mackenzie's head, slowly opened his eyes.

TBC

A/N: There will be another update today. I'm sorry for the short chapters, but it seems like a good place to stop. More soon! Thank you again for your kind reviews.


	11. I Love You

Disclaimer: JAG and its characters are the property of DPB. I do not own them.

Mac stood in the shower allowing the hot water to fall all over her body. She stood with her eyes closed, willing the sight of Sadiq to leave. The tears had stopped falling, but the memory of his words and his eyes looking right at her were burned in to her mind. She lathered her body again and again in a feeble attempt to wash it all away; his touch, his words, his smell. 

In the room, Harm and Gunny were meeting with Kershaw from the CIA. She wanted to be done with this. Harm understood, and agreed to speak to Kershaw on her behalf. She hoped that the men would have good news for her, but she was sure to feel numb even if they did. 

Never had the enemy gotten to her like Sadiq had. It was as if he knew a part of her that she didn't even know herself. He sensed this and exploited it. He spoke as if he had complete control over her and it was just a matter of time before she gave in. She wondered how long it would have taken for him to be right. She was mad at herself for allowing him to get to her. She felt angry that Webb was probably dead and that Sadiq was, too. He could have been interrogated and his associates could have been exposed. 

Harm's light knock on the door brought her out of her thoughts. "You o.k. in there?" He asked. He was so gentle, so calm. He knew just what she needed and when she needed it. She was so glad that he was here, but it was taking her awhile to express it; to welcome back the feelings that she had before Sadiq.   
"Yeah, I'm getting out." She replied softly.   
Once she towel dried her hair and put on a robe, she walked back in to the room. Gunny had been with them until now, and she and Harm had yet to enjoy an emotional reunion. Perhaps they wouldn't, given her current state of mind. He sat on the bed with his back to the wall. 

"Come here." He patted the bed beside him.   
She smiled and leaned in to him as close as she possibly could, resting her head on his chest. He wrapped both arms around her and kissed her on the top of her head. 

"I'm so glad you're alright." He spoke quietly.   
"What did Kershaw say?" She needed to know. 

Harm paused for a moment and then went on to explain, "They swept the place and found no sign of the stinger missiles that Webb had suspected them having. There was no sign of Webb." He pulled her in a little tighter, knowing that this would upset her. She closed her eyes, putting all of the pieces together.   
"It's my fault he's dead."   
"Mac, that's not true." 

"Yes it is. If Sadiq hadn't found my phone and if I hadn't called you, he would have never known my real name. I blew our cover." 

"Mac, he was on to you before that. Webb knew it. That's the reason that they didn't make the exchange for the diamonds."

She knew that this was right, but she still blamed herself. It was after her first interrogation by Sadiq that Webb disappeared. Whatever her answer had likely sealed his fate. 

"Was he dead?" She asked after a moment of reflection.

"Mac, they don't know what happened to Webb. There's a slight chance that he made it out—"

"No, I mean Sadiq. Was he dead." She flatly asked.

Harm had hoped against all hope that she wouldn't ask this question. He knew that she knew something was wrong. She could feel it and he couldn't lie. She sat up to face him.

"They, uh…they didn't find his body." 

Mac's expression did not change. 

"Mac, most likely some of his men came back and swept the place before Kershaw and his men. They probably took the body to make us wonder."

"I didn't kill him." 

"Mac, you shot the man five times, no one could survive that." 

"I didn't shoot to kill. I should have taken him out, Harm. Like Gunny said. I should have killed him."

"Mac, he lost a lot of blood. And you saw him when we left."

"I know." She stared straight ahead.

He pulled her back down to him and held her like this for the remainder of the night. He just wanted to get her home, to get back to a normal life. He wanted her to be her old self again, and to leave this mess behind forever.

TWO DAYS LATER 

Mac stood at attention before the Admiral's desk. 

"Colonel, I'm glad that you made it back safely. And for what it's worth, you did a damn fine job out there." 

She smirked. 

"Colonel?"

"Sir, Clayton Webb is likely dead and Sadiq Fahd could be running free again. I'd hardly say that that's a fine job." She was angry.

The Admiral felt complete remorse now for sending her on this mission. "Colonel, I'm not a man who likes to admit my mistakes. But I was wrong to send you there. If anyone is to blame for this fiasco, it's your CO."

"You didn't order me to go, Sir." Her voice was laced with sarcasm.

"I know what you're getting at and you're right. For what it's worth, I apologize."

"Sir, are there any cases that need my immediate attention? I'd like to get back to work." 

The Admiral knew that this was no time to talk her in to or out of anything. He knew that she wanted to put this all out of her mind, so he decided to oblige. 

"Lieutenant Roberts has the Benson case in his office. You'll be first chair. Commander Turner is prosecuting. I suggest that you meet with the Lieutenant right away for a briefing. You're dismissed."

She made her way back to her office and closed the door. When Harm stopped to knock, he thought better of it. She had been guarded since their return. She had an edge to her that he realized would take time to disappear. He decided not to crowd her at work. If she knew that he was there for her, whenever, then that was all that he could do for now.

TWO WEEKS LATER 

Harm had made her favorite dinner of lasagna with meat and her favorite salad. She had begun to loosen up somewhat, thanks to his tender care. He stood to take her plat from her when she reached across to grab his hand.

"Thank you. For everything." 

He knew what she meant and he smiled. "You're worth it." 

She grabbed her glass of water and walked over to the couch. Soon he joined her, lacing her fingers between his own. 

"Mac, I've been thinking. Why don't we go away for a long weekend? You could use some r and r and honestly I think that I could too."

She smiled the first genuine smile that he had in weeks. "I'd like that. I'm ready for a boring life, Harm." 

"Well, I never thought of myself as boring, Mac, but if that's what you're after, I can sure try. We'll play Old Maid and Uno and Checkers all day if that's what you want." 

Something inside her snapped when she heard the words 'Old Maid.'

"What is it, Mac?"

"He said that I was barren. That no man would ever love me and that I would never be whole."

"Mac, he was messing with your mind."

"It's like—it's like he knew things that I didn't. He scared me, Harm. I let him get to me." This was the first that they had talked about any of it.

"I hate him for what he did to you." He looked down at their hands, still joined.

She looked up at Harm. This hadn't been easy on him either. He had been so patient. She leaned up to place a soft kiss on his lips. He welcomed her touch. It had been so long since they were close. The kiss grew deeper and with the intensity that they shared before she left. She let out a soft moan, before breaking the kiss and looking in to his eyes.

"I love you." She said. "So much it hurts sometimes." She traced his wet bottom lip with her finger.

He closed his eyes. This woman had a hold on his emotions and it overwhelmed him in moments like this. He reached up and covered her hand with his own. 

"I was so scared, Mac. I thought you were—"

"Shh. It's o.k., Harm. Nothing can get between us now. We've proved that once again." She tried to smile; tried to lighten the mood.

Harm stood from the couch, never taking his hand from hers. He pulled her up to him and kissed her again, slowly and passionately. 

"I love you." He whispered as he picked her up in to his arms and carried her to his bed.

TBC!


	12. Sarah

Disclaimer: JAG and its characters are not mine. They belong to DPB.

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

Mac looked at the ring on her left hand and smiled as she drove down the road. Harm had proposed to her when they had gone away for a long weekend to his Grandma's farm. It was beautiful there, with the leaves changing colors and beginning to fall.

It had been a moment that she could have never imagined. After dinner and a long walk, they sat on a blanket looking out over the pond under a large, old, oak tree. Harm carved their initials in to the tree trunk and they sat talking and reflecting. When the conversation grew quiet, she noticed him reaching in to his pocket and was temporarily speechless when he opened the black box.

"Sarah Mackenzie, my life is nothing without you in it. Please, be my wife." He had kept it simple and to the point. Tears formed in her eyes as she choked out the word "yes" about fifteen times, knocking him over in her excitement.

Looking at the ring now, it all came back to her. Every time that Harm had been there for her, every kind word he'd ever spoken, every soft touch—she had to be the luckiest woman in the world.

Just then her cell phone rang. She turned the radio down in her car and answered.  
"Hello?" She said cheerfully. There was silence. "Hello?" She said it again. And then she heard his voice. "Sarah. How are you?"

She just about lost control of her car. She pulled off of the interstate as fast as she could and sat, hands shaking. "What do you want? How did you get my number?"

"It's been a long time. I was hoping that we could meet." He spoke as if they were old friends.

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Well, I have plenty to say to you. You almost took my life."

"I should have."

"It seems you have been busy."

"What are you talking about?"

"Let's meet. I'll explain."

"I told you, I have nothing to say to you."

"Perhaps Commander Rabb would like to speak to me."

Mac wanted to throw up right then. She said nothing.

"He has a nice apartment. Tell me, does he serenade you with his guitar?"

"What the hell do you want?" She yelled.

He laughed. "We have some unfinished business."

"I don't like the way you do business."

"Sarah, still the defiant woman." She could tell that he was talking between puffs of a cigar. She could almost smell the stench through the phone. "Will you be running in the park tomorrow morning? It's good that you take care of yourself, Sarah."

Her hands were shaking so hard that she almost dropped the phone.

"How long, Sadiq? How long have you been spying on me?"

"You say it like it's a bad thing, Sarah." The way he said her name sent chills down her spine. He spoke like a serpent and he said her name often, like he was reminding himself whom he was speaking to.

"I'm hanging up." He was getting to her and she knew that the longer she stayed on the phone the easier it would be for him to draw her in.

"Soon, Sarah. I'll be calling you soon. You will tell no one about this, of course. You would not be so foolish."

Mac sat in her car shaking for the next fifteen minutes. He could be anywhere. He had been watching her and worse, he had been in Harm's apartment! The thought made her sick. If he ever hurt Harm…

She pulled back on to the interstate and drove to nowhere in particular. She had to think about this. She knew that Sadiq would make good on his promise to contact her, yet he expected her not to tell anyone. It was her first instinct to call Kershaw and to fill him in. Perhaps they could trace the call made to her cell phone. And of course, she wanted to tell Harm.

Sweet Harm. They had finally found happiness together. The thought of him being in danger filled her with fear. She hated Sadiq for coming back in to her life. Just when she began to feel normal again, he resurfaced. The anger came welling up quickly inside of her. Harm and even the Admiral had politely suggested that she get counseling after her return from Paraguay, but she fought the idea. She wanted to lean on Harm now that she could, not some shrink. Maybe now was the time. Maybe she needed to get an unbiased opinion as to what to do about this.

She was supposed to meet Harm for dinner that evening. She needed to know that he was safe and yet she was conflicted about telling him. She still felt responsible for Webb's death. One wrong move and Harm could be Sadiq's next victim.

She picked up the phone and dialed. "Hi. It's Sarah Mackenzie. I need to see you. This is an emergency."

She could not risk going to Kershaw's office. If he came to JAG, everyone would be suspicious and yet meeting in the open would be too risky. Sadiq had clearly been watching her. To what extent, she did not know. Kershaw agreed to meet her at the library. They entered separately and agreed to meet on the third floor in the reference section. There were study rooms available, and Mac sat waiting, wringing her hands together.

When he entered the room, he knew. "He contacted you, didn't he?"

She nodded. "Listen, I need to know that Commander Rabb will be safe. I want a plain clothes watching him at all times. Sadiq has been in his apartment. That is my number one priority. You have to promise me." She spoke with fear and rage combined.

"Consider it done. What else did he say?"

She explained the conversation to him and he listened intently.

"This is good, Colonel. We can get him. The fact that he's here and he's in contact with you—he's starting to get reckless."

"I want this to end. Once and for all. I want him gone."

"I understand. We can arrange to have you wired so that when you set up the meeting, we'll be right there."

She was apprehensive.

"Colonel, you did the right thing by contacting me. Don't let him get in your head. He's the one that should be scared."

"Then why is he here, messing up my life all over again?" She countered.

"Revenge, I would assume. Or a last ditch effort to try to convert you to his ways. He sees you as a threat but also a challenge. You have drawn him in just as much as he has you. You are both waging a mental war. Just be careful. I don't have to remind you what this man is capable of."

Kershaw explained to Mac that she would be getting a package by the end of the day. It would contain a wire and instructions for setting it up.

She nodded in agreement and he left. She sat there, contemplating her options. Harm would be devastated if she kept this from him, and yet she did not want him to worry, or worse, freak out and do something dangerous.

She thought long and hard about their relationship and how far they had come in the last several months. She examined her heart, and knew what she had to do.

Getting in to her car, she dialed his number. She got his voicemail and tried to sound as normal as possible in her message. "Hey, it's me. Just making sure we're still on for dinner tonight. We have some things that we need to discuss." This was harder than she thought. Her eyes became filled with tears at the thought of all that could happen. She loved this man more than anything. His safety was more important than her own. She swallowed the lump in her throat before continuing, "I love you." She hung up and made her way to the local coffee shop before heading back to work for the afternoon.

As she sat waiting for her order, she felt eyes upon her. She got a strange sensation and suddenly wanted to run. She looked all around the coffee shop and saw no one that resembled Sadiq.

When her phone rang in her purse, she almost jumped out of her chair.

"Yes, Harriet, hi. I'm grabbing some coffee and then I'll be right in. Thanks. Bye."

She was relieved when her coffee was ready and grabbed her keys to leave. As she walked out the door, someone called from behind. "Maam? I believe that you left this." She nearly jumped again. A frail, blonde man with a limp handed her her cell phone. "Thank you." She smiled and began to walk away.

"You're welcome, Sarah."

TBC!

A/N: Thank you for reviewing. Janlaw, I completely agree that counseling is necessary for Mac. I didn't squeeze it in in time during the last chapter, but it is something that I won't blow off.


	13. Not Just Any Man

Disclaimer: JAG and its characters are not mine! They belong to DPB.

A/N: I can't thank you all enough for the kind reviews! It's motivating and encouraging. I love hearing from you all!

"Where are we going?" She asked as he pointed the gun in her back.

"To my apartment."

"I have to make a phone call first." She was calm and collected, which surprised them both.

He stopped walking and looked at her. "You'll do no such thing."

"Look, the office was expecting me back and I'm working on a case with Commander Rabb. If you don't let me call in, this entire area will be surrounded by Feds. They knew that I was getting coffee and they know where I always _get_ my coffee. It won't be hard to figure it out if I'm not back. Now if you'll excuse me." She pulled out her phone and began to dial.

"Don't try anything stupid." He warned.

'Please pick up, Harm!' she thought to herself as she dialed. He was in court today, but was hoping that she could catch him during a break.

Thankfully, he answered. "Rabb."

"Hi it's me, listen, did you get my message earlier about dinner? I may not be able to make it. Seaman Ferguson is giving me fits and when I spoke to Deputy Kirsham today he only corroborated his story. So, listen, if I don't make it in time, heat up the tofu for me. Oh, and the package that we've been waiting for should be arriving at any minute. Open it and let me know if you think the judge will allow it." She was talking complete nonsense, but she wouldn't allow Harm to interrupt.

Sadiq was glaring at her and shoved the gun harder in to her back.

"Listen, I've gotta go. Sorry to leave you with most of the work, but this shouldn't take long." She shot Sadiq a taunting glare before hanging up. "Now, where are you taking me?"

Harm was completely confused. He sat at his desk jotting down the key words from their conversation. They weren't working on any case together. It made no sense. As Harriet walked by he asked her, "Have you spoken to the Colonel today?"

"Yes, I just spoke to her awhile ago. She was going to grab some coffee on her way in. And this package just came for her."

"Uh, Harriet, I'll take that, please. She just asked me to look it over for her. Thanks." He said as he shut the door to his office.

When he emptied the contents on to his desk, it suddenly made sense. There was a wire to be worn under clothing and instructions about how to put it on and to activate it. It was signed "K" with CIA as the official letterhead. 'Damnit!' He thought to himself. He looked again at his scribbles on the desk. Seaman Ferguson…S.F.—Sadiq Fahd!

He picked up the phone and called Kershaw immediately who filled him in on his earlierconversation with Mac. He replayed the first message on his cell phone. "We have some things that we need to discuss." She had said. This must have been it. The time that she left the message wasn't long after she had spoken to Kershaw. Thank God she wasn't trying to be the Lone Ranger, but how could they help her if she wasn't wearing the wire?

Kershaw arrived atJAG within minutes. HeremindedHarm that Sadiq was no fool. If heallowed too much time before he contacted her again, she would most definitely have set him up. He was wise to act fast, giving her no time to alert the authorities.

Kershaw was making phone calls right and left. "Garrison, get down to the coffee shop on Third and Vine. Ask them for any surveillance tapes taken in the last hour. Get a description of Colonel Mackenzie to every local news station possible. Find out what Fahd's appearance was when he found her if he shows up on the tapes.. Broadcast that as well. And Garrison—I want this done yesterday." He switched to another phone. "Jackson, get every known alias that Sadiq has used in the past year and cover the entirefive block area. I want hotels, hospitals, apartments—I want no stone unturned!" He yelled.

Kershaw was in control but clearly concerned. He couldn't let Sadiq slip through his fingers one more time. Especially not on American soil. The bastard was teasing them all with his presence in the States. He pressed the phone to his forehead and closed his eyes, taking it all in for a moment.

"What do we do now?" Harm wanted to know.

"We wait, for now. She called you once, she's likely to get in touch with you again.

"You're assuming that he'll let her. We can't assume anything with Sadiq!" He was growing agitated.

The Admiral soon figured out that something was wrong when he saw Kershaw in Harm's office. "What's going on?" He demanded.

"Sadiq. He's in the country and he's got Mac." Harm said.

"Holy—" The Admiral was stunned. "What do you need us to do?"

"Let's move this to your office. If she calls we need to put her on speaker phone and we need to try totrace the call. We can't work with all of these eyes on us."

The Admiral agreed and the three moved to his office and closed the door to wait, hoping that Mac would call again.

**ACROSS TOWN, AT THE SAME TIME**

"I'm impressed." Mac said as she looked around his apartment. "I guess the diamond business has served you well, or would this be income from the stinger missiles that you've been smuggling?" Her adrenaline was pumping faster than she could control it. Instead of fear, she felt defiance, combativeness. He sensed this, and was drawn to her game.

He smiled. "Fix me a drink. We have much to discuss."

She laughed. "What, no 'please' or 'thank you'?"

"It is not deserved."

"That's right, I forgot. I'm a lowly woman, created only to serve the most intelligent form of human beings—the men." She walked in to the kitchen and began fixing a drink.

"Now you're learning."

She still had her coat on, and knew that this was her only chance. She reached in to her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. She was behind the counter where Sadiq could not see. She quickly hit her speed dial, and hoped that Harm wouldn't make noticeable noise. She set the phone sideways on the counter behind a plant. "What will it be, Scotch or Bourbon?" She asked.

Thankfully, Harm had gotten the call and Kershaw was ready. Since it was on her cell phone, they could not trace the exact location of the call, but they could listen for any details that she could provide.

"Good, Mac. Keep talking." Harm said as the three men leaned over the phone on the Admiral's desk.

"Bourbon. On the rocks." Sadiq said from his chair in the livingroom. He seemed tired, but determined.

She walked in and handed him the drink before walking over to the window. "Nice view." She said. "So this is where you've been watching me from, where you've seen me take my runs each morning?"

"Good, Mac, good, baby. Keep him talking!" Harm spoke before thinking.

"I watch you many places." He said.

"Yes, so you said. And how is it that you got in to Commander Rabb's apartment?" She wondered aloud.

He smiled. "I cannot give away all my secrets."

"You're more of an open book that you like to think." She challenged.

"No, Sarah. You are the open book. Allowing everyone a window in to your soul, giving yourself too freely to any man."

"Not just any man. That's where you're wrong."

The Admiral couldn't help but look over at Harm and arch is eyebrow. Harm ignored him and stared intently at the phone, trying to hear any shred of detail from the conversation. They couldn't hear everything that was being said, but most of it. The sound of Sadiq's voice made him want to scream.

Another CIA agent walked quietly in to the office and stood next to Kershaw. He whispered something in his ear, and then they listened again.

"So, what are you doing in the states, in Washington D.C. two blocks from where I happen to work and get my coffee? I don't suppose it's any coincidence."

"Yes!" Kershaw yelled. He looked at the other agent who immediately left the office, making a call on his cell phone.

"I do not believe in coincidence, Sarah. Only fate."

"So it was fate that drew me to you?"

"Of course."

"Was it fate that made me leave you for dead?" She was testing the waters.

"That was stupidity."

"So now I'm stupid _and_ worthless? Sadiq, you really know how to make a woman feel good about herself."

Her taunts were starting to annoy him. "Sit. You have nervous energy."

"When I _feel_ like sitting, I'll sit. That's how it's done in this country."

Harm was beaming with pride and scared to death both. He knew that this could get dangerous at any moment.

Kershaw met another agent at the door, looked at a piece of paper and nodded to Harm and the Admiral. "I think we've got him." He spoke quietly before beginning to leave.

Harm was right on his heels. "I'm going with you."

Kershaw gave him a look that said 'No, you're not' but thought better of it when the Admiral crossed his arms and delivered the exact same look.

"Alright. But stay out of the way."

The Admiral sat in his chair, still listening to the conversation.

"Why do you defy me, Sarah?"

"Because you show me no respect. Because you are evil to the core and because you preach hate and violence."

"You misunderstand my message."

"Then enlighten me."

"You Americans, you are all so self-righteous and indignant, throwing your weight around the entire globe as if it is your own. Allah despises such arrogance."

"Allah despises violence, from what I've been told."

Fury filled his eyes. He stood from his chair and walked over to where she stood.  
"Careful, Sarah. You forget who holds the gun."

"Do you always have to hide behind a weapon to get your point across?" She was not giving an inch. Her heart was racing, but not in fear.

"When dealing with idiots, yes. It seems to be very useful."

"You haven't explained to me why you're here, why I'm here. If it's just revenge, then why the boring conversation?"

He surprised her with a slap to the face. She wasn't ready for it, and when she moved her arm up to block, he grabbed it and moved her to the couch where he sat her down forcefully.

The Admiral flinched at the sound. Wherever Harm and Kershaw were, he hoped they would hurry.

**AT THE SAME TIME**

Kershaw pretended that Harm wasn't there. He conferred with the other agent in the car as they sped toward the apartment building. They had caught a brief enough glimpse of his appearance on the surveillance cameras and were able to get confirmation from a local apartment manager that indeed, Sadiq Fahd was staying there, but under a different name.

They radioed the other agents and drew their weapons to load. "We're going in." They said. Harm got out of the car at the same time. There was no way that he was going to miss this. Time was too precious to waste with a maniac like Sadiq.

"Commander, you will need to wait here. We'll let you know when we get her out."

He opened his mouth to argue, then noticed a side entrance to the building. Having brought his own gun with him, he decided to beat them to the punch. He had overheard Sadiq's room number from the other agent.

"Fine." He said. They were in a hurry, so when they rushed off, Harm ran to the side entrance which thankfully was a service entrance. He scanned the room for something, anything, that could get him to Sadiq's room relatively unnoticed.

He grabbed a cleaning cart and pulled his uniform jacket off as fast as he could. Pulling a white jacket off of the man in the corner, he said, "Here. I'll trade you, " and then left the man with a confused look on his face.

He ran up the stairs, leaving the cart behind. Once he reached the fourth floor, he hurried down the halls looking for Room 452. He found it. Just as he drew his hand up to knock, he heard Sadiq yell from the inside.

"Traitor! You have just cost yourself your life!" He had obviously discovered the phone.

"Commander! Stop!" Kershaw whispered as loud as he possibly could. His weapon was drawn and he meant business. "Step _away_ from the door."

Harm was conflicted. He knew that Mac was o.k., at least for the moment, but if they didn't act fast, she would be dead. He heard Mac yell and two shots were fired.

Kershaw, Harm and the other agent simultaneously busted down the door. With their weapons drawn, they saw Mac, holding a gun in one hand and her side with the other, blood seeping through her fingers. Sadiq was holding his side as well. They must have struggled for the gun and both been wounded.

Kershaw pointed his weapon at Sadiq and fired a bullet directly between his eyes. Mac gasped, and looked down at Sadiq, and then at Harm, before collapsing on the floor.

When the Admiral arrived on the scene, the paramedics were loading a black body bag on to an ambulance. Panic gripped him, until he saw Harm holding Mac's hand as she was loaded on to the other ambulance.

"Rabb!" He yelled, running over to him.

"What happened?"

"Sadiq is dead. It's over."

"How is the Colonel?"

"She was shot, but we don't think it's bad. She's in and out of consciousness."

"Go with her. I've already notified the judge of your absence."

Harm smiled as if to say 'Thank you' but concern was written all over his face.

As the paramedics tore open her blouse to examine the wound, his face became pale. Blood. Her blood, was all over the place. It made him feel faint. He grabbed her hand more tightly and looked up at her face. She was trying to keep her eyes open, but was having no luck.

"Mac, it's me. You're going to be all right. Can you hear me?"

She smiled and nodded before closing her eyes.

She opened her mouth to say something, but the exhaustion took over and she couldn't form the words.

He was waiting in her room, two hours after surgery to remove the bullet. It wasn't a deep wound, but it could have been bad had they not gotten her to the hospital in time.

He was thankful to see her. She looked frail, but he knew better than to use or even think this word in the same sentence as his Marine. She had acted intelligently and without letting her emotion cloud her judgment. He was so proud of her.

"Hey." She muttered, still with eyes half open. "Come here."

He grabbed her hands and kissed her on the forehead. "Hey yourself. It's been a long day."

"Is he dead?" She had to know, had to be sure this time.

"Yes. He's dead. He can't hurt you anymore."

"I wanted to kill him, Harm."

"You would have had to wait in line."

"I wanted to be the one to send him to his death."

"Mac, you probably did. Just having a conversation with you about made the man come unglued."

She laughed and coughed at the same time. "You heard?" Her eyes were closing once again.

"Yeah, so did the Admiral. Remind me never to tell you to do anything you don't want to do." He kissed her hand.

"You…it's different." She was fighting sleep. "Not just any man…"

He smiled and kissed her gently on the lips. "Get some rest. I'll be right here when you wake up."

TBC


	14. Breaking Down, Moving Forward

TWO DAYS LATER 

Mac was sitting up in bed when Harm delivered a tray holding chicken noodle soup, crackers and a small vase of flowers. She smiled and set her magazine down to make room for the tray. 

"Sailor, you are too good to me." She moved the pillow behind her to get more comfortable.

Harm smiled and stared at her as he had been doing a lot lately. She began sipping the soup and without missing a beat, said, "You're doing it again." 

"I can't help it."

"You know, I'm not going anywhere." She reassured.

"I know." Slightly embarrassed, he looked down.

"Hey, what's bothering you?" She asked, setting her spoon down and moving the tray out of the way.

"I'm supposed to be asking you that question."

"Harm, I'm fine, really. Now that I know Sadiq is gone, we can get on with our lives."

"Are you sure about that?" 

"Why wouldn't I be?" 

"Because last night—you were having a bad dream. I thought you were awake for a minute, but you seemed to calm down when I put my arm around you."

She looked confused. "I don't remember dreaming."

"You were frantic, Sarah. And sweating."

"What's your point?"

"I wish that you would consider counseling again."

She looked down.

"Harm, I have you now. And Sadiq is gone. So I had a bad dream, so what?" 

He took her hand in his. "Mac, I don't want to pressure you, but talking to someone might help put this to rest once and for all; to get him out of your subconscious."

His eyes were pleading with her. 

"Alright, then. I guess if it's that important to you, I'll give it a try." 

"Thank you, Mac." He leaned in to kiss her.

When he left the room, Mac began replaying her conversation with Sadiq in her mind as she had been doing, unbeknownst to Harm. It was true; he still invaded her thoughts and now her dreams. She knew that he was gone, and yet his words still played frequently in her mind. She tried to shut them out, tried to distract herself, but it wasn't easy when all she was doing was sitting in bed.

She tried to get up to take a shower. She was a little sore from the incision, but otherwise fine. This felt like as good a day as any to get shower, dress and go somewhere.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Just where do you think you're going?" Harm asked as he came back in to the room.

"Harm, I can't sit there another minute. I'm going to take a shower." He knew better than to argue with her. 

"O.k., and then what?"

"I don't know, but I'm tired of staring at the same four walls."

"All right, I can understand that. Why don't you take a shower, get changed and then we'll go for a little drive."

It was obvious that he didn't want to let her out of his sight. Mac was touched, but he couldn't baby sit her forever, and she knew that.

When he helped her in to the car and placed the key in the ignition, she said, "So, where are we going?"

"I don't know. Maybe we can scope out a place for the wedding." Even in her tired, sore, grouchy state, she could not be annoyed with this man. She couldn't wait to become his wife. She looked over at him and smiled. 

"I'd like that."

They drove around for two hours and even stopped and got some coffee. It felt good to be out in the real world after being cooped up in the hospital and then at home. The air had turned cold and Mac welcomed the change.

"Harm, why don't we go to your place for awhile, is that o.k.? Maybe we could get some movies and just hang out? I don't feel like being confined to my bed anymore." 

"Sure."

After the first movie ended, Harm stood to put the second one in when his phone rang. Mac had been sitting snugly against him and felt the warmth in his empty seat.

"Rabb." He answered, and then looked at Mac and then away. "Uh, yeah. This isn't a good time. Do you mind if I call you back later? Mac's here and we're watching some movies." 

At first she was curious, but then she was angry. Really angry. Too angry to justify the conduct. 

"Who was that?" She asked when he hung up.

"No one, really." He could feel this going downhill fast.

She arched her eyebrow. "Oh really? So does 'no one' call you often?" 

"Mac, it's not like—"

"Not like what, Harm?" 

"Trust me, it's no big deal."

"Then why can't you tell me who it was?" She was feeling more threatened by the second.

"Because, it has to do with a surprise, that's why! Now drop it and let's get back to the movie." He tried to steer the conversation in another direction.

"Oh, a surprise, huh? From who, Alicia?" She couldn't believe that she said it.

Harm looked hurt. "Mac, you know better than that."

"Oh do I? Because I'm not so sure. If one simple phone call causes you so much secrecy, then it must be from somebody you don't want me to know about." 

He rolled his eyes. He didn't want to reveal what the phone call was about, and yet he didn't want Mac to get herself worked up, either.

"Mac, calm down. You're overreacting."

She became indignant at this response. 

"Oh, well excuse me, Commander, for bothering you with my concern." She tried to stand, although she had no idea where she would go if she did. She wobbled a little bit and sat back down.

This broke her. She couldn't even stand up, for Pete's sake. Was there nothing that she could do anymore?

It surprised them both when tears came flooding down her cheeks. She placed her head in her hands and sobbed. Harm rushed over to where she sat and took her in his arms as he had done so often lately.

"Mac, it's o.k. I'm sorry. It was Harriet, on the phone, not Alicia. I'm sorry that you thought—"

"It doesn't matter, Harm." She sobbed. "It's not the phone call. I don't know what it is. I feel so damn _helpless_!" She was more upset than he had seen her in a long time.

"It's o.k., Mac. You've been through so much lately."

"Well so have you and I don't see you falling to pieces at the drop of the hat."

"Mac," he began as he pulled her back gently to him on the couch, stroking her hair. "Sadiq was an evil man. He knew how to get to you. It's only normal that you would still be feeling the stress of the ordeal. That's why I think it would be helpful to talk to someone." 

"I'm tired of needing help." She was offering him a window to her soul.

"Sarah, you are the strongest person I know. The fact that all of this is catching up with you only shows me that you are human too. I don't want you to ignore the fact that you need help from time to time."

"That's just it. I feel like I need help too much lately." 

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"What do you think of me? I mean, really think of me?" 

She was curious about his question. Her tears began to slow and she sat up to look him in the eyes, slightly confused.

"I think you're amazing. You're intelligent, you're brave, you're relentless, and determined…and you're the most honorable man I know. Why?" 

"So what did you think about me when Lt. Biggs was holding me captive? Did you lose respect for me?"

"Of course not."

"Did you think less of me for needing to be rescued?"

"Absolutely not."

"And when you found out that Sadiq had been in my apartment, what thoughts crossed your mind?"

"I wanted to protect you. That's it. That's all I wanted to do. That's the main reason that I wanted Sadiq gone, so that he couldn't hurt you or interfere in what we have." 

"Mac, it's no different with me now. I want to protect you. I don't see you as weak or incapable. I see a woman who has taken on a lot in her life and could use a little help gaining perspective before she moves on." 

Once again he had calmed her down with his words of reassurance. She thought about everything that he had said.

"I don't want to be damaged goods to you, Harm."

"You're not even close."

"I don't know how you can say that."

"Because I know the real you. I know that Sarah Mackenzie is the only person in this world that I can fully trust, fully love. I know that she will have my back in times of danger and won't think twice about doing whatever it takes to protect those she loves."

"Thank you." She whispered. 

He leaned in to give her a kiss. With her eyes still closed, she said, "I'll call today. I'll set up an appointment with Dr. McCool. You're right. I need to do this before we move forward."

"You won't be sorry." He assured.

"I love you." She said it with more meaning and intensity every time and he was certain that he would never tire of hearing her say it.

"I love you too." He pulled her back in to his arms and held her tightly in silence for a moment. It was Mac that broke the silence.

"So, about this surprise…"


	15. Fluff n Stuff

DISCLAIMER: JAG and its characters are the property of DPB. 

A/N: Fluff alert!

TWO WEEKS LATER 

"Surprise!" Harm said as she opened the door to her apartment.

"What is this?" She smiled walking over to greet him with a kiss.

"It's the project I've been working on with Harriet. I hope you like it."

"I'm sure I'll love it!" Her smile widened.

He pulled a chair out for her at the dining room table that he had set with candlelight accents. There were three packages to the left of her, all wrapped in golden shiny paper.

"You've been busy." She said as he sat down across from her.

"I have." He replied, heaping a spoonful of salad on to her plate.

"Ahh, rabbit food. I've actually been craving this stuff, you know."

"Say it aint so!"

"It's true, Sailor. You're changing my ways, one shred of tofu at a time."

He laughed.

They ate the rest of the meal in companionable silence before she stood to take their plates. 

"Why don't you let me do that?" He asked.

"Because you cooked. Clean up is my job." She leaned down to kiss him. "Thank you for yet another wonderful meal. You're spoiling me." She said from the kitchen.

Harm took a deep breath and looked at the packages. He hoped that this went well. 

She came back in and instead of sitting down, stood behind him and began rubbing his shoulders deeply. 

"Ahhh…" He closed his eyes. "This is supposed to be about you." 

She laughed. "Why the tense muscles?"

"Nerves, I guess." She stopped rubbing for a moment before continuing. 

"Nerves? What are you nervous about?"

"Well, why don't you open package number one and find out?" He pulled her on to his lap.

They were momentarily distracted by the closeness of her on his lap. She stared intently in to his eyes and leaned in slowly to kiss him. He let out a soft moan, and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer.

Sitting sideways on his lap, she reached her arms around his neck and played softly with the hairline above his collar. After a long and sensual kiss, they broke for air. She smiled and wiped away the moistness from his lips. 

"What present could be better than that?" 

"If you don't hurry up and open it, you'll never know."

She smiled and reached for the smallest package, sitting on top of the other two. She unwrapped the box and pulled out an envelope that read "A Gift For You" on the front. Her eyes widened as she read the certificate inside. "Julian's Day Spa? Harm! I can't believe you did this!" She kissed him again before staring at the piece of paper that she held in her hand. 

"Go ahead. There's more." 

Intrigued, she reached for the other box, a slightly larger one. Carefully pulling the tissue paper away, her eyes widened as she pulled out the most beautiful golden colored negligee that she had ever seen. It was silk and lace and had sequins as accents. "Oh, Harm, it's beautiful!" She exclaimed.

"It's kind of like the color of the dress you wore when you got back from the Watertown." He smiled at the memory.

"Harm, I don't know what to say. Thank you!" She leaned in for another kiss, the gown still hooked on her fingers as she cupped his face.

He let out a nervous sigh. "O.k., and now the last one." 

"Harm, you've done too much already. I can't imagine what this could be."

The third box was even larger, and deep. Inside were several small packages wrapped carefully in tissue paper, each one numbered. She gave him a curious look before pulling out package number one. It was a beautiful pair of diamond earrings. She gasped at the sight of them. 

"Harm, they're beautiful!" She looked like a little girl on Christmas morning. This is the look that he was hoping to see. He wished that he could see it forever.

She quickly set them down and reached for present number two, a garter. "Keep going." He advised.

The third package was a small, pale blue handkerchief, with the initials "S.R." embroidered on one corner. "I don't understand…" There seemed to be a pattern here, but she wasn't exactly sure why or what it meant.

"The last one explains it all." He smiled.

The third small package was long and looked like an envelope. When she opened it up and read the card in front of her, tears filled her eyes. She covered her mouth with her fingers as she read the words before her. "The honor of your presence is requested in the chapel at St. John's Cathedral on Saturday, December 1 at 6 p.m. as you and I join hands in marriage, exchanging vows in a candlelight service among friends. Yours forever, Harm."

"Harm—" she choked. "I…I don't know what to say." No one had ever treated her like this before. 

"Say that it's o.k."

"Of course! Of course it is! How did you arrange all this?"

"Let's just say that Harriet can be a real bulldog at times."

They both smiled.

"You do realize that it's in six days?" He looked as though he were waiting for her to change her mind.

She said nothing, but wiped the stray tear from her cheek and smiled the biggest smile he had ever seen. 

"Yes. _Yes_! It's perfect, Harm! It can't be soon enough." She kissed him, then looked at the gifts again. She was especially intrigued by the handkerchief. 

"It was my Grandma Sarah's. I figured that that could be the borrowed and the blue. The earrings are new, and the garter was Harriet's."

"I'm speechless. You thought of everything!"

"Well, not everything. You still have to pick out a dress."

Her eyes widened. "Harm, a dress! What am I going to wear?"

"Not to worry. Harriet has a few on hold at a boutique across town. She's given them your measurements and the seamstress is on call the rest of this week, so hopefully you'll find one that you like."

"I can't believe it. We're actually getting married." It was all so unbelievable to her. 

After Sadiq and Paraguay, Mac's self esteem had taken a strong blow. She began to doubt whether she deserved a man like Harm or not, but twice weekly sessions with Dr. McCool had done wonders in helping her to separate the truth from the lies in her head.

"So, Colonel Mackenzie, now that we're all set for the week ahead, I need to be going." He stood to leave. 

"Wait, where are you going?" She worried.

"Mac, I want everything about our wedding to be special. There are a few more loose ends that I need to take care of. And it's going to kill me, but I think we should stay apart until then. If, that's o.k. with you, because you know it wouldn't take much to change—"

She silenced him with a long, hard kiss.

"O.k." Was all that she said. She liked the idea, but knew that it would not be easy. He had held her in his arms every night since Paraguay. She loved having him near, but the anticipation that would build would be worth it in six days.

He had a dazed look in his eyes. "I'm…I'll….I'd better…just be going…" 

He made her laugh. His boyish charm was a new and endearing side to see. She placed a kiss on her finger and then placed it on to his mouth. 

"I love you." She said.

"I love you." He replied as she closed the door behind. 

She could tell that he hadn't moved. Through the door she said it again. "I love you." 

He smiled as he drug his hand down the door, imagining her touch from the other side. "I love you."

"I love you." She laughed. 

"Mac?" 

"Yes?" She smiled.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"No, I don't believe that you have."

"I love you."

"You too, Sailor. Goodnight."

TBC


	16. Closer Than Ever

Disclaimer: JAG and its characters are the property of DPB.   
SIX DAYS LATER 

"Well, how do I look?" Mac asked Harriet after she had finished putting on the veil. 

"Maam…you look stunning!" Harriet smiled.

"Thank you. But Harriet, will you please stop calling me 'maam'?" She laughed. "Do you think Harm will like it?" 

"Are you kidding? He'll faint on the spot."

"Well, I don't know about that, but I hope that he likes it." She took in a deep breath as she stood before the mirror, staring at the bride before her. Never in a million years would she have dreamed that happiness would find her. Not like this. No more did she feel insecure or inadequate or troublesome. This relationship brought her such contentment. She couldn't wait to become his wife.

"Harriet, did you deliver Harm's package for me?" 

"Yes I did. He acted surprised."

"I hope it's o.k."

"He'll love it. You two make a good team." She smiled. Everyone was happy for them. They had wasted so many years dancing around the subject of a relationship. It was no secret to those that knew them how in love they were. Now that they were together, the entire JAG office seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. 

They would no longer be working directly with one another, but they would remain in the same building. A job change wasn't what either of them wanted, they knew that their relationship was worth the price.

"It's almost time." Harriet pointed out. 

"Thanks, Harriet. For everything. You have helped us so much. We love you for it."

In the room down the hall, Harm had just opened his gift from Mac. It was a letter, handwritten, and attached to it was a tiny plastic bag with some soil in it. He was curious, so he began to read:

Dear Harm,

When I see you in a few minutes, there is no telling what my emotions will do.

The sight of you waiting at the end of the aisle to take me as your wife gives me chills even now. I can't imagine what I will do when the moment finally arrives. I just wanted to say, before I get choked up and can't speak, that you, Harmon Rabb Jr., are the most precious gift that God has ever given to me. You have stood by me in times of doubt, misery, confusion and pain. You have encouraged me, supported me and challenged me through it all to be the woman that you knew I could be. The words on this paper and the ones that I will speak in my vows could never do justice to the feelings that I have for you. I look forward to being your wife; to loving you and supporting you in all that you do.

The soil in the bag is from Russia. I picked it up when I stood watching you look out in to the mountains. I wished then, and I wish now, that I could take the pain of your father's death away. It tore me up inside to know that you had hoped for so long, only to find out that he was gone. This soil represents a part of you. While Russia is a painful memory in many ways, it is also a part of your father. And I know that he would have wanted to share that with you along with your many, many accomplishments. You have made him proud more times than either of us can count, I know it. I am thankful to him and to your mother for the man that you are today. I am blessed beyond measure to have the opportunity to love you. 

I can't wait to be your wife. See you soon, Love, Sarah.

When Harm finished the letter he had tears forming in his eyes. The fact that she had brought a little piece of her father to him on this day was more than he could have asked for. He loved her more than he ever knew was humanly possible.

The knock on the door brought him back to reality. 

"Sir, they're ready for us." Bud smiled.

"O.k., let's do it."

**TWO DAYS LATER**

"You're doing it again." Mac smiled, her eyes still closed.

He leaned over to kiss her on the nose. "That's right, and I plan on doing it everyday for the rest of my life." 

They lay together, still tangled in the bright white sheets. Outside of their window, the sun tried its best to peek in through the long, heavy curtains. 

She smiled but did not open her eyes. "What time do you think it is?"

Harm smiled even bigger now. "I don't believe it, the Marine finally has a malfunctioning internal clock." 

She slapped his arm, still not opening her eyes. "It's all your fault, you know."

"I gladly accept the blame." 

He was now planting kisses all over her exposed skin. She reached up and began rubbing his bare chest.

"So, Mrs. Rabb," he spoke between kisses. "What do you think…of…the honeymoon…so…far?" Now his eyes were closed and he was on a mission. He reached across and pulled her to him so that their bodies were flush with one another.

"Well, our hotel room is very, nice." She smiled.

"And?" He was still kissing, now moving to cover her body with his own.

"And I hear that the weather is nice outside." She teased.

"And?" His kisses were now moving downward.

"And I just love what they've done with the bathroom!"

"Is that all?" His kisses had turned to gentle nibbles on her skin.

She smiled. "Oh, yeah, and there is that man with no clothes on that I keep running in to. He's pretty hot."

"Oh really? Sounds like I should meet him."

"Why Harm, I didn't know that you were… interested in… hot naked guys…" It was beginning to get more difficult to speak. After endless sessions of lovemaking, the couple still enjoyed the freedom and intensity of one another's touch.

He suddenly grabbed her hands and placed them above her head, looking down in to her eyes. He began nipping at her bottom lip. "And what about you, Sailor? How are you enjoying the honeymoon so far?" She whispered in the sultry voice that she now knew made him come unglued.

"Let me show you." He whispered breathlessly. Before they knew it, another day had passed them by.

THE NEXT DAY 

"Oh no you don't." She said, with eyes closed.

"What? What am I doing?" He played innocent.

"You're staring at me again."

"So?"

"So, that's how it all began yesterday." She laughed.

"Is that so bad?"

"Normally, no, but on day number three of no food in my stomach, my priorities have changed considerably." She opened her eyes and sat up, drawing the sheets up to her.

He arched his eyebrow and smiled at her seductively. "So you need food, huh?"

"A girl has to keep up her strength." She leaned down and kissed him before getting out of bed and turning on the shower.

"So what are the plans for the day?" He called from the bed.

She smiled from inside the shower. So far, they had done absolutely nothing beyond their hotel room door.

"You tell me. I'm all yours."

"I can think of a few things." He yelled back.

"Why don't we head to the beach?" She yelled back.

"Mac, you really don't need to yell. I'm right here." He smiled from the other side of the shower curtain.

"Harm, what are you—"

The next thing she knew, Harm was standing inside the shower with her, kissing her with passion that never seemed die. The hot water rushed down over their bodies as they clung to one another, savoring the moment as if it were the first time.

LATER THAT EVENING 

They sat under the straw roof of the outdoor restaurant looking out over the sea. "This is beautiful." Mac thought aloud.

Harm reached across the table and took her hands in his. "Is it everything that you thought it would be?" He asked.

"What, the trip? Being married?"

"All of it."

"It's far better than I could have imagined." She leaned across the table to meet him for a kiss. "And I must say, you seem to be adapting quite well to life outside of the hotel room. For awhile there I thought you'd never leave." She smiled.

"Yeah, well, if my wife didn't require a little thing called 'food', we would still be there."

The waiter came and lit the votive candle on their table, taking their drink orders. "Honeymoon?" He asked.

"Yes." They answered together. 

"I can tell. Congratulations."

They took their time eating dinner and were pleased when the waiter surprised them with dessert. 

"Oh, my, now that is what I call dessert!" Mac's eyes widened at the triple layered chocolate fudge cake covered in raspberry sauce.

Harm shook his head. "I don't know where you put it, Marine."

She wasted no time in digging in. She moaned at the taste and was too busy chewing to carry on a conversation. With each bite, she let out a new sound of pleasure. 

"Mac, if you don't quit you're gong to give me a complex!"

"What, threatened by a little piece of chocolate?"

"The way you're eating it is downright sinful."

She licked her fork slowly and deliberately with a 'who me?' look on her face.

"That's it, we're leaving." He had paid the bill and was waiting for her to finish, but decided that he couldn't stand it any longer. 

"Don't you want a bite?" She giggled as he pulled her up from her seat.

He rolled his eyes in mock disgust and guided her out of the restaurant with his hand on the small of her back. They walked along the beach in the moonlight. Mac carried her sandals in one hand. Her other was linked in his arm.

They walked in silence for awhile, listening to the waves crash slowly on to the shore. 

"Harm?" 

"Yes." 

"Do you think it will always be like this?"

"I think that's up to us."

She smiled up at him. He seemed wise since they had gotten together. It was a trait that she had never observed before.

"Do you think it will always be this easy?"

"I'm sure there will be days that we have to work on it a little more than others, but I don't foresee any major roadblocks."

She smirked. "I think we got all of those out of the way in the first two months."

"Yeah, but it all brought us closer together."

"Harm, can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"When I got back from the Watertown, why then? I mean, what was it about that time that made you decide you wanted a relationship?"

"Well, I guess it just hit me. When I walked in to the office expecting to see you, expecting to talk to you, for you to be there to share the minute details of the day with…and when you weren't…I don't know. It was like it all hit me. I didn't want you to be away from me for another minute."

She smiled at the memory of him on the terrace at the ball. "And when I saw you at the ball…"

They stopped walking. He turned to face her and brushed the wind-blown hair gently away from her face. "I'd never seen you look so radiant."

She smiled. "That's sweet."

"I knew, at that very moment, that I had to make you mine."

"And you did."

"And I did."

"Any regrets?" She asked.

"Yeah, one." 

She looked worried. 

"Leaving the hotel room." 

She smiled as he leaned down for a kiss that made her lips go numb all over again. The sun again tried to alert them of its presence the next morning, but hidden happily under the sheets, all they saw was each other. 

A/N: I may add an epilogue, but I don't know. I hate for it to be over, but how much drama and fluff can one story take? Also, I know that I was vague on their new job assignments as well as the wedding ceremony. I'm completely clueless about military regulations for one, and wanted to skip straight to the honeymoon. Thank you janlaw, frogg0319, cbw, Lynnp, daisymh, bluejay742, KJFlygirl, ma3306, jagdreamer, michelleuk for reviewing! 


	17. Epilogue

DISCLAIMER: JAG and its characters are the property of DPB. 

A/N: O.k., I hope that you all don't hate me for this! It just went this way. I'm sorry, but you were the ones that wanted an epilogue!

**

* * *

FIVE YEARS LATER**

"Harm?"

"Mmm-hmm?"

"You're doing it again."

"I know."

"After five years, do I really look all that different?"

"Nope. I just like to wake up each day and to look at you. That way I don't have to pinch myself instead."

She leaned over to give him a kiss. "You're too sweet. Happy anniversary."

"You too."

"So, what do you want to do today?"

"You mean besides laying in bed and staring at my gorgeous wife?"

"You know, flattery will get you everywhere."

"I was kind of hoping…"

She opened her eyes and moved to cover his body with hers, kissing him gently and longingly.

"Five years, Sailor, and you still know how to get to me…"

"That's the plan." He spoke between kisses.

"What do you think we'll be like in ten years?"

"Hopefully by then we'll never have to leave the room."

"That is your goal in life, isn't it?"

"Pretty much, yeah. We had a lot of lost time to make up for. I fully intend on doing so." He pulled her down to a more heated, intense kiss.

When the kiss was broken, he rolled her over on to her back. The look in his eyes was as deep and longing as the first day that she met him. Only now, instead of emptiness, she saw contentment and love.

"I love you." He whispered, in a voice that made her melt all over again.

"I love you too."

**TEN YEARS LATER**

"I'm still here."

"I know. I'm looking right at you."

She smiled, nestled firmly in his arms. "How many more wrinkles have appeared since yesterday morning?"

"I don't see wrinkles when I look at you."

"Liar."

He pulled her closer to him, savoring the feel of her warm skin first thing in the morning. He had grown more dependent on her touch than the air that he breathed.

"So, what are we going to do—"

The words never made it out of her mouth.

**TWENTY-FIVE YEARS LATER**

"Do me a favor."

"Anything."

"Don't look at me in the mornings anymore."

"Why?"

"You know why. I'm not the same woman that you used to wake with longing stares."

"You're still the same woman to me."

"Liar."

"It's the truth, Mac. It doesn't matter to me if you lose all your hair. You're still my wife and I love you. That's never going to change."

She smiled, and allowed him to pull her firmly to him.

"Thank you." She murmured.

"For what?"

"For giving me the strength that I can't find on my own."

"We'll beat this, Mac. Together, I promise."

She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, peacefully in his arms.

**THIRTY YEARS LATER**

He held her frail body in his arms. Skin and bones, breathing shallow…the sun shone in on her sunken face. He couldn't stop staring. This woman, his wife, his lover, his friend…time was running out. He had to stare; to take it all in, to memorize every line, every crease, every movement, every sound.

"Harm…" She willed herself to say.

"Yes, baby?" He had vowed not to cry in front of her.

"Do me a…favor?"

"Anything."

"When…I'm gone…keep…..staring…."

He was suddenly overcome with emotion. He willed the tears back to their place, when he heard her breathe out, "Cause' I'll be….staring….at you…."

He leaned down and kissed her on the lips. Lips that had only a moment ago been moving. He pulled her close for the last time, hanging on for dear life, clinging to the body that would soon be a memory.

"I will, baby. I will."

**THIRTY YEARS, ONE WEEK LATER**

They stood above the stone and the second formation of unearthed soil in just a week. "They couldn't do it; couldn't be without each other, not even in death. It took them so long to find each other, but they certainly knew how to make up for lost time." A man spoke.

"It's sad, in a way. That he couldn't find the strength to go on without her." Another said.

"No, it's not sad. She was his strength. With that gone, he was nothing." The woman smiled as a tear rolled down her cheek.


End file.
